TIME || t. holland

ii. instagram + text

INSTAGRAM

tomholland2013 has sent you a direct message!

tomholland2013 ✓:
          Hey, that photo was hilarious, I can't believe you still have it! How are you?

ACCEPT | DECLINE
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IMESSAGES
REAL HOUSEWIVES OF DISASTER CENTRAL
( asssssster 🍑, pb & jamey, j joanah jameson, pressed bitch )

pressed bitch:
hi. crisis. abort mission. seek refuge.
do not pass go.
do not collect 200 dollars.

asssssster 🍑:
someone's DRAMATIC.
he liked your post bc he knows you ?
p.s. yikes

pressed bitch:
he sent me a dm on instagram too.

asssssster 🍑:
wtf did you say?
im scared for you

pressed bitch:
nothing...

j joanah jameson:
im sorry?
you did WHAT.

pb & jamey:

pressed bitch:
I PANICKED

pb & jamey changed pressed bitch to absolute fucking clown

absolute fucking clown:
jAMEY THIS ISNT FUNNY

asssssster 🍑:
     god, i can hear your accent in that text.

absolute fucking clownery:
what do i do?
he's waiting for a response...

pb & jamey:
     did you open the dm?

absolute fucking clownery:
no. just saw the text from the preview.

pb & jamey:
     then you've got all the time in the world to think of something witty!

j joanah jameson:
     What are you talking about jamey?

pb & jamey:
     I meeaaan,
     Ask that web shooter bitch why he stopped being your friend when he got famous 🤙🏼💀

absolute fucking clown:
it wasn't like that jamey
we grew apart BEFORE he landed spider-man
it wasn't anyone's fault

asssssster 🍑:
     so y'all just stopped talking?

absolute fucking clown:
friends grow apart..

pb & jamey:
     lol not us.
     I swear to god if you try to leave me I'll have you assassinated.

j joanah jameson:
     im so worried for this group chat rn. 
     wait. aren't your parents like friends with his?

absolute fucking clown:
yeah.
since year three.

asssssster 🍑:
I'm gonna have to ask you to speak English.

j joanah jameson:
     how have you two not talked?
     don't you see each other at family events?

absolute fucking clown:
he's always busy, i guess.
i mean he's spider-man

asssssster 🍑:
     I can't believe you took a bath with Spider-Man..

pb & jamey:
you whore.
you were butt ass naked with peter parker.

absolute fucking clown:
don't you think it's kinda weird saying it like that?

pb & jamey:
I just call it how it is, love

j joanah jameson:
Yeah... idk about that.

absolute fucking clown:
i could really use your help right now
im at a loss of what to do

j joanah jameson:
I've got it.

absolute fucking clown
I'm seriously open to anything, Joan.

j joanah jameson:
okay...
bare with me

asssssster 🍑:
      Presley is no longer the only dramatic one..

j joanah jameson:
     ready?

absolute fucking clown:
The anticipation is killing me 🙄

j joanah jameson:
     answer him

absolute fucking clown has left the group chat

pb & jamey:
     Joan you're wild dude ☠️

j joanah jameson:

⋅☆⋅

my absolute favorite group of assholes.