Harrington 3

Flick of the Switch

"So what are you gonna do about Jonny?" Will asks quietly as Max and Lucas start up another argument.

I shrug as nonchalantly as I can, "Despite what he believes, I'm not taking him back."

Will gives me a look, and I sigh.

"Okay, well maybe I still have tiny feelings for him," I confess, "but it's not a big deal. It's probably just because he sang that song and the memory of him is still fresh in my mind. I hadn't talked to him in three months so seeing and communicating with him was a little bit of a culture shock."

He nods, "I get it. But, all things considered, he still cheated on you. And that's hardly forgivable."

I lean back and watch people walk back and forth in front of us, carrying shopping bags and laughing carelessly.

"You weren't there, Will." I don't look at him, just staring off at every stranger who passes by, "You didn't hear what he said. Besides, I don't really know what happened between him and Pam Campbell."

"Liz, you're doing exactly what you promised you wouldn't." Will sits up properly and gently places his hand on my shoulder so I face him, "You're convincing yourself that there was a logical explanation for what Jonny did."

"Well what if—"

"Liz."

I groan in spite of myself, leaning my forehead on Will's shoulder and smiling a little at how ridiculous I know I'm being, "You're right."

"I know," he says smugly and I lift my head to raise my eyebrow at his smirking face, "not only am I tall, but I am also graced with an uncanny intelligence. It's a blessing and a curse."

I laugh wryly, "Please. I could jump from your ego to your IQ and I wouldn't survive the fall."

He chuckles at that, and I continue to watch strangers walk by. I see a group of annoying girls from our school, the same annoying girls that denied Dustin a dance last year at the Snow Ball. I laugh at the memory. The Snow Ball is where this whole thing with Jonny really started. I don't know how I feel about it. I hate being hung up on him, but I just remember loving him, or maybe the idea of him, I can't remember. I know I did love being around him and talking to him and everything about him. I remember him loving me for me and constantly telling me so. I remember all the good things, because it seems there were no bad things, but still when I look back at it every happy thing has now been tainted by the image of Pam's lips pressed on his.

There's nothing I can really do about what he did. I realize that now. I guess I thought that smoking and sleeping outside and being a rebel would fix the pinprick in my heart, but in all honesty it just turned the pinprick into more of a golf ball sized hole. I feel better now that I've got my friends back and I've taken to the old ways — even if I may not have been able to stop the smoking — but the hole hasn't exactly left. It feels more like school and then summer and friends have tried to refill the hole, but have failed. It's like they've just covered it. The hole is still there, but it's like a trap. Like in cartoons. The villain (bad breakup and Steve Stage) dug a hole (in my heart) and then is covering it up with leaves (happy things) to try and lure me into the jungle and prod the leaves with my toe (accept the lie that I'm truly happy) only for the leaves to break beneath my feet and the cover to be blown and for me to fall into the hole (back to sadness again).

So the answer is that I should get back together with Jonny?

Hold on let me try this again.

The villain (Jonny) dug a hole (in my heart) and then is covering it up with leaves (singing to me) to try and lure me into the jungle and prod the leaves with my toe (accept the lie that I should trust him) only for the leaves to break beneath my feet and the cover to be blown and for me to fall into the hole (his relationship and inevitably: heartbreak).