Borrowed Time

Part 2 - When it ended...

FOURTEEN YEARS AGO...

It should have been a wonderful day. I was bursting so much with the excitement of the news I wanted to give Andy. I could barely control myself and kept on thinking how Andy would be so happy to hear what I had to say. Which was probably the reason why I did not notice the signs...

Andy was so quiet. And he was avoiding looking at me. Alarm bells should probably have warned me when he started to speak so softly. But on that day of all days, nothing could have burst my bubble – except probably what Andy had to say to me.

"What did you say?" I was confused and did not know if I heard him correctly.

"I'm sorry, Lori," he was not looking at me. "But I have to break it off with you. I don't want to. But I have to."

"W-why?" The back of my legs hit the stone bench, and I slowly slumped on the seat. There was a loud buzzing in my ears and I kept on thinking I was having a bad dream.

"I..." Andy sat down beside me and tried to hold my cold hands. I was starting to tremble, thinking it was taking too long for me to wake up from the bad dream.

"I'm sorry, Lori," Andy was speaking so softly I started to wonder if he was really saying all those things. "But... something happened. Something I did not plan, but just happened. I don't even know why I did it. Not when I love you so much."

"I... I don't understand," I could barely get out the words. I was so confused, and afraid – of what Andy was trying to tell me.

"Lori, just believe when I tell you that I love you so much... and I never wanted to hurt you." Andy was squeezing my hands so tight, but I did not notice. It was nothing compared to the squeezing pain in my heart. I could not breathe.

"But... but you are breaking up with me? How can you love me and break up with me?" The reality of what Andy was telling me hit me so hard. My voice was quivering, but I was starting to shout at him. "I don't understand, Andy! What is it? Did I do something wrong? What is it?!!!"

I pulled my hands and stood up. I was trembling with rage, unheeded tears falling down my cheeks. I was breathing so hard it hurt. Or maybe, my heart was breaking and that was what was causing the pain.

"I'm sorry, Lori..." Andy's voice was breaking, but I could not see him with all of my tears. I did not know if he was crying, if he was pleading, or even if he was looking at me. The pain was too much – and I was afraid I will break if I did not run away from him.

So I ran – not heeding his shouts. Never once looking back. I focused on keeping one foot in front of the other, not realizing that I was already running – blindly.

I never knew how long I ran. I never knew where I ran to. But hours later, I found myself at my house. I never knew how long I was standing there in front of our gate. Until my mother looked outside the window and saw me. I can remember her voice. I cannot remember what she said, but I remembered only one thing. I remembered she hugged me and took me inside. I remembered she put me to bed and held my hand until I could cry no more.

And the last thing I remembered was whispering to her that I never even got the chance to tell Andy that he was going to be a father...