devotion

downward spiral

As the rain continued to beat down on the car Scarlett and Fez just sat there. It wasn't until Scarlett broke the silence that Fez turned to look at her. "So I guess you heard everything, huh?" Scarlett asked. Fez just nodded in response. "Do you hate me for it ?" Her voice cracked when she asked. "What? God no Scar you're the strongest person I know." He responded gripping her hand harder. She gave a slight smile and nodded. "Do you have any questions?" She asked. "Is he in jail?" Fez questioned. "Not as far as I know. After I got released from the hospital we spent like two nights in a motel while my mom searched for places online to rent. The cheapest house was here so that's where we went. As far as I know it was only my mom, me and those girls that know. I doubt any of them would tell. He probably has something over them or they think that they're in love."She told him. "He could go down for so much shit though assault, statutory, I mean everything." Fez told her. "Yeah he could. If anyone told. But they won't. My moms too scared he'll take Sammy away and I just never want to see his face again. I'm sure those girls are too afraid to ever say anything." She said, a tear falling down her face. "How old were you when it started? I'm sorry you don't have to answer that." He said. "No it feels good to talk about it. I've never told anyone before."she thought for a moment. "Well they got married when I was like 7 and when they were dating he was amazing. I guess the first time he ever laid a hand on me I was eleven. Maybe twelve. It wasn't often at all but when he lost his temper it was bad. My mom would make me stay home from school for days so no one would ask questions about my bruises." She told him. "I swear on my life Scarlett if I ever see him I'll kill him." Fez said and when Scarlett looked at him she could tell he wasn't joking. "No. If I ever get to the chance to I want to do it myself." Fez could see in her face she was serious. Scarlett couldn't hurt a fly. She didn't even eat meat because she saw a video once when she was 13 about the meat industry and she cried for 3 days straight and never ate it again. But Fez knew she would do it if she could. It scared him to think that man was still out there in the world somewhere but he knew he should probably stop asking questions. She had shared enough and he felt honored that she trusted him enough to tell him any of it. The rain had let up so they decided to go inside and go to sleep.
The next morning they decided to take the day to lay in bed and watch TV. Fez told Ashtray that he needed to stay home with Scarlett and Ash didn't seem to mind much. Fez was starting to think that maybe Scarlett should be with him. They had never formally talked about what they were but they acted like they were together and they both knew their feeling for each other were mutual. But Fez couldn't help but think that them being together was putting Scarlett in more danger than he had realized. Fez knew he would protect her from mouse but he now knew she was already fighting other battles and he didn't want to add to that. Scarlett had only gotten out of that situation less than two months ago and he didn't know if being with him would be more harming than good. He knew Scarlett would disagree with what he was thinking but it hadn't left his head since last night.
Almost a week had passed and Fez still was unable to get the same thoughts out of his head. Scarlett was finally starting to be okay again. She was laughing, she was hanging out with her friends and even spent the night at Jules's house last night. She was coming to the convenient store in 15 minutes so Fez started helping Ashtray wrap up his work. When he was placing money into the designated bag, while Ashtray was putting something in the car, he heard his phone ring, and thinking it was Scarlett he picked it up on the second ring. "Fezzy! My boy! Just calling to let you know I'm coming by tonight to collect my money." Mouse began. "Uh Ion know man tonight's not a good night for me." Fez told him reluctantly knowing mouse's temper. "It's a good night if I say it is. You and that hot lil chica still a thing? I'd like to see her tonight I have something I might want to show her." Mouse laughed through the phone but Fez was quick to respond. "Nah man we stopped hangin out a couple weeks ago. You know how that shit goes.. hit it and quit it." The words coming out of his own mouth disgusted Fez. He wasn't that guy and he didn't want to be but this was about keeping Scarlett safe. "Alright alright don't get to pressed Fez. And don't lie to me boy you know I got eyes everywhere. If you be lying to me I might just have to take her away from you. Maybe before that though I'd have a lil fun with her first" Mouse said. "I ain't." Fez interrupted the words leaving Mouse's mouth made him nauseous . "Alright then Fezco I'll see you tonight." Mouse hung up leaving Fez to sit with his own thoughts. Mouse was right, he had people everywhere. And that night Fez hadn't lied when he said these weren't the type of people to be messing with.
A couple minutes later Scarlett walked through the door. "Hello" She sung as she entered the "fridge". Fez's heart wouldn't stop racing and he didn't want to do what he knew he had to do. "Scar we gotta talk" he told her. "Okay? What's up?" Fez hesitated wondering if this was the right thing to do. Scarlett had to be kept safe and that was all he kept saying to himself. He came up with the words as he went along. "Listen i didn't mean to give you the wrong idea. I just realized I ain't that into you anymore. You been holding out on me too long and spendin this much time working for it ain't the way I do things." He said. There was silence for a few seconds. "I can't tell if your joking." Scarlett responded slowly. "Look I was into you but I ain't feelin it anymore. It just ain't worth my time." He told her shrugging his shoulders. She starred at him for a while trying to process what Fez was saying. This wasn't the Fez she knew and everything had felt so real. Maybe this was just a game and she hadn't realized it. She must've missed the clues. He had played her. She had trusted him and it was all just a ruse so he could get her in bed. "I don't understand. Why would you do all the shit you did if you didn't care about me? What did I do Fez? Seriously tell me." She could feel her eyes welling up. Fez knew he had to say something to make her believe him. Something that wouldn't make her want to show up at his place later to talk things out. Something that would cut deep. He knew if Mouse figured it out both their lives would be in danger. He took in a deep breath and met her eyes. "Your just not worth the trouble." He could audibly hear her suck in a breath. She nodded with tears streaming down her face. "Sorry to waste your time." She whispered and with that she left the fridge passing Ashtray and ran down the street. After about four blocks of straight running Scarlett slowed to a stop and tried listening to her own breathing to calm down. It didn't work. She walked to the side of an office building and leaned against it. Fez's words kept running through her head but the last thing he said echoed in her mind. Scarlett had spent a lot of time feeling unworthy. It was the one thing that this town had given her and she knew it was because of Fez but also her friends here. They all made her feel worthy. That was up until now. Scarlett let out a sob and started sliding her back down the wall she was leaning on until she reached the ground. She sat there for a while sobbing uncontrollably until she realized she had no place to go. She couldn't go home, even though all this had happened it didn't change the night where her mother and her had dredged up the past in the worst way possible. She started to call every single friend she had in this town and Cassie was the first to pick up.