Even After All

Part Thirty

With a pant and a shout, she sat bolt upright and it took a moment to realise that she wasn’t in the street, that she wasn’t being assaulted...she was in Dylan’s flat, his spare bedroom. It took a moment for her racing heart to calm, and her eyes to get used to the dark. Within seconds the door open spilling light across the room, Dylan silhouetted against it.

                “You ok?”

She nodded, “can’t believe some bloody hooligan kid is giving me nightmares.”

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he gave her hand a squeeze, “you were attacked near your home, the only thing worse would be if they had broken in to your house. It’s a blow to your confidence, but you’ll get it back.”

As he smiled at her she could feel her bottom lip quivering.

                “Come here.” He pulled her into his arms, “you’re just not used to feeling so vulnerable, you’ve always been independent and strong that it’s hard, an unusual for you to be on the back foot like this.”

His words were so right, so intuitive that it made her tears flow freely, she could feel them sinking into the t-shirt he wore, but he didn’t care. Instead, he held her and stroked her head, letting her fear and anxiety to sweep out.

Eventually she stopped crying but even then he didn’t stop holding her.

When eventually he did try and disentangle their limbs, she shook her head, “don’t go. Will you just...”

He sighed, “you want me to sleep here with you?”

She nodded nervously, “I don’t want to be alone.”

Dylan groaned, how the hell was he meant to sleep in the same bed as her without...he couldn’t think about it, couldn’t. Lowering her, and then himself to the bed, he let her burrow into him, her face almost buried in his neck. Then thought cold harsh thoughts, anything to stop his body responding to the smell that was already permeating his nostrils and the arm around his waist, fingers spanning his hip.

Within seconds she was asleep, her body relaxed, became heavy against him, and it was only then he let himself breathe. Over the last few months he’d started to think that maybe this was possible, that there was a chance of rekindling what was good between them, now that she stopped hating him so furiously. But not like this, not accidental, and NOT when she was vulnerable and needy. When they got together, because they would, as he held her in his arms it seemed inevitable, when he finally got that wish, it would be her coming to him, and her vocalising that it was what she wanted more than anything. He was fed up of being the bad guy, he was not about to take advantage of her. No matter how hard that was.

Mattie woke to sunlight on her face. Taking a moment she suddenly remembered where she was, and turning smiled to see Dylan beside her, fast asleep. He looked relaxed in sleep, signs of the boy she remembered the flawless skin, long eyelashes, the full lips. She was tempted to plant a kiss on his lips, a thank you for looking out for her. If he hadn’t been there so many times in the last eighteen hours, she had no idea how she’d have coped.

Breakfast. That was a safer way of repaying him. If she kissed him...she sighed, that would open a whole can of worms that she wasn’t ready to embrace. It was too difficult, and they were finally getting on, finally back to being friends, and she’d needed that more than anything since she’d been assaulted and robbed.

There was nothing to eat in the kitchen, so she pulled on some clothes. As she was about to walk out the door she realised she had no money, no back cards...nothing. Creeping into Dylan’s empty room she found his wallet on the bedside table, and pulling a twenty pound note out of his wallet, she was glad to find a baseball cap which helped hide her bandaged wound, she skipped out of the apartment.