Representative

An Empty Library

Time passed through my realization, until Laurence looked at his watch,

"We've been a while. We should head back."

I looked at him blankly, then at the sheet of paper. We'd done 26 variations. He smiled and looked at the paper with me, I could tell from the corner of my eye.

"Alphabet."

He then wrote several letters on the top of be page,

"A-alfabeyt?" I questioned, delicate of repeating him. He gave a nod and took the iPad.

'I'm sure Vanya waiting for you to return, it's late. Those are letters of the English alphabet. We can continue tomorrow.'

He then stood up and started shuffling the paper and extra papers into a pile, before neatly pacing them in the bottom of his briefcase. I watched him work, putting the laptop away and the iPad. I wonder what he thought we'd use the laptop for. I won't ask, encase he doesn't have an answer. Vanya hates it when he can't answer something. I wonder if Laurence is as intelligent as him.

He twisted his wrist so I can see, "Ninteen," he said simply, letting me read off the watch: 19:00. I'd seen those numbers before, on walls sometimes, as civilisation used it to tell the time, the nineteenth hour of the day. I tilted my head and watched him tighten his tie. I didn't want to be rude and look away, but the colour was starting to make my eyes sting. Why did the dark colours have to be so popular?

I stood up once he had started packing away. He looked at the door for a minute, did he want me to walk first? He then shook his head and started strolling down the library towards the exit, and further into the corridor. I quickly followed after him, moving to be walking in time with his footsteps with my head down, looking at his feet in time with mine. We were in silence, but there was a quiet hum coming from his lips. I didn't recognise the tune, but he seemed to know it well as he looped it around. He checked the time again. It seemed to be reasonably important to him, they had been talking in English earlier when I couldn't understand and Vanya often says 'time is money'. They probably made an agreement. A time. A price. There was a price on everything in civilisation. Oh well. If there was a price on learning English, on having fun, I would have to enjoy it. The price on this building, this project, this stay. My stomach filled with butterflies of worries, I hated wasting Vanya's money, I was already not wanted here, he couldn't hide that truth from me. To take away what was his without doing the responsible work seemed preposterous. I was a herd messenger. Nothing more. Easily replaced.

The rapping of knuckles on a wooden door alerted me back to my position, where the lul of humming had moulded into my mind and I'd been following him aimlessly. Room 2. The wood on the door was light, the grain going downwards. It had been sanded and was of a high quality. There was no paint on it. The handle went down and the door opened to Vanya. The two men started exchanging words again, in English. I could understand the letters now, picture them, but the words themselves meant nothing. Vanya gave me a pat on the head and rubbed my hair a little, leaving a messy strand falling down in front of my eyes and tickling my nose. "Good job," he indicated at me, before taking my hand and leading me in. They said their farewells.

Vanya didn't say anything more to me, so I just stood there thinking, waiting to see what he would do so I could correspond correctly. He simply sat down at the desk where his laptop was already open and there were papers worth of writing and forms. They seemed to be mostly business related, he was often busy with those, and I was not allowed to help out due to my inexperience. Bodyguard. Yes, that was my job for today, or possibly the duration or the stay. He had spoken me through the act, the manipulation behind it made my adrenaline rush. It was rare to get such a title, I usually just stayed close, his safety was important to me. He has always looked after me, my loyalty lies strictly with him. His privacy lay with me. You could not trust civilisation.

Deciding that was what I would do, I started along the lower section of the walls, drawing my hand along each one, feeling along the paint as I tested for a range in pressure where there could be something hidden to the plain eye. Vanya knew what I was doing, there was no way he couldn't, he was always perceptive and intelligent.

"You do not trust our hosts?"

"It's not that.. I'm sorry to offend you, Vanya. It's just the stories.. They scare me."

"It is alright to be afraid. You're safe here, as long as you're with me."

"I know, I always will be."

"I know your problems with the heat, you can adjust this room, but this temperature should be fine for you."

I couldn't help but grin. Vanya always cared for me, he always had. Others called him a monster, a dirty business man, someone to be afraid of, but I didn't understand. They were the ones who were judgemental and had misconceptions, he had a heart of gold, it was just hidden, encased by hurt. I hope to see it all one day. I continued what I had started, feeling for any dents or holes that could conceal something.

"And, Maroosa?"

"Yes"

"Don't forget to finish up tomorrow. My safety is in your hands."

"I won't forget, I promise."

He trusted me, I love that. Of course I trust him too, but him saying that he relies on me for anything makes my heart swell and bubble. I love it, the feeling, his presence, his attention. I then went scurraging through Vanya's bags. He looked half amused at me,

"What are you looking for?"

"It could be higher up"

"There is nothing you can tie to rope too. I can do the higher parts tomorrow so you feel better. I'm almost done and have barely paid attention to you today if you want to stay awake a while longer."

"Okay, but is there anything I can help with?"

"Not right now, I'm doing the final paper sunshine"

There was no reply necessary. I knew those were the final instructions and settled down lying on the bed, playing with a piece of string that had been left there. I also knew Vanya had placed it there for my amusement, as entertaining myself was an easy routine to keep up. I tugged on either way, feeling it go tight before wrapping it around my finger in a loop and tying a loose knot, slipping it off immediately so I had a circle in it. Secretly, I wanted to be praised for this trick. No matter how many times I did it, he had never even blinked at me.

I sighed and put it down on a tabletop nearby, stretching over to do so. I looked over at Vanya again as he stood up, closing a binder full of papers. He came straight over to me, offering a smile. I gladly looked back as he sat down beside me, cuddling me gently. Warmth. It wasn't painful, like the heat was. It was simply warmth that reminded me he was there. I buried my head in his shoulder happily, letting out a purring sound, one mimicking that of a mother lynx nuzzling her cubs. His hold let sleep wash over me, as my eyelids fell heavily. I was safe, this was the only time I would be.. When I was with him. Ivan.