I've been selfish, not only to Johansson but also to my Lauren. Pinangunahan ako ng takot, ang mga bagay na akala ko sapat na sa amin ni Lauren ay isang kasinungalingan.
I know to myself that Lauren was longing for a father but just an obedient and smart girl to not voice it. Pero kita ko sa mga mata niya noong pinakilala si Dior sakanyang Daddy Carreon, I know that in a silent and painful way, Lauren wishes for that moment too.
It was a long and exhausting night, we said our fairwells to our visitors as we guide them to the elevator. Then came silence as soon as the elevator's doors close. Napakagat ako ng labi nang humagod ang kanyang kamay sa aking bewang.
"Let's go inside, Lauren is waiting..." wala akong nagawa kundi ang sumunod na parang iyon lang ang alam kong gawin pagdating sakanya.
We saw Lauren having a conversation with Manang Lourdes, one of Tita Regina na pinasunod niya dito to clean the penthouse and I think will be Lauren's babysitter when we are not around.
"What's your name po?" I heard Lauren's sweet voice
"Call me Manang Lourdes, hija. Ako ang mag-aalaga sa'yo kapag wala ang Mommy at Daddy mo." Hindi pa nasasabihan na natututo palang si Lauren mag-tagalog but in a conversation thing kaya rinig ko ang malakas na "Huh?" ni Lauren dahil wala siyang naintindihan sa huling sinabi ng mid 30's na helper.
"Lauren is still learning to speak tagalog, Manang." Johansson chuckled as we enter the kitchen. Manang was doing the dishes and Lauren is seated on the stool of the kitchen island as she watch Manang's back.
"Ay talaga po ba?" umubo si Manang at liningon si Lauren. "I-I will be the one to take care of you when your Mommy and Daddy are not around." tumango si Lauren at nagpatulong kay Johansson bumaba ng stool atska niya ako nilingon.
"I want to know tagalog fast, Mommy. So Manang will be comfortable talking to me." aniya sabay hikab at pagkusot ng mata, hudyat na inaantok na.
"Napakabait na bata po ni Lauren, Miss Tiara."
"Salamat po." nag ngitian kami at muli na siyang bumalik sa ginagawa niya.
Binuhat ni Johansson si Lauren at kukwestyunin ko palang kung saan kami matutulog nang tuloy-tuloy siyang pumasok sa kwarto niya at inilapag si Lauren sa kama.
Nagkatinginan kami, it was long enough that I was surprised I still have the sense to look away first. Kumuha ako ng damit sa closet bago pumasok ng banyo, I can't imagine myself walking in front of him in a towel.
Vanilla scent was lingering on my body as I went out, naabutan kong tulog na si Lauren sa gilid ni Johansson. As if he was hugging her pero patagilid.
Dumiretso ako sa vanity mirror kung nasaan ang mga skin care products and make-ups ko. I did my usual night routine and when I was about to end, doon ko lang narealize kung gaano pala ka-awkward kapag tulog si Lauren.
Tumayo ako at inayos ang upuan, I saw him close his book and look at me. I didn't mind his small actions at nagpatuloy na lang sa paglalakad papunta sa kama.
Kakaliwa na sana ako para tumabi kay Lauren nang bigla niyang tinapik ang tabi niya. The bed was actually massive that I think it can fit up to six persons at dahil nasa gitna sila, sobrang laki pa ng space sa gilid na kahit saan ako ay okay lang.
"Huh?" napanganga ako dahil hindi pa naproproseso ang ibigsabihin ng ginawa niya.
"I want both of my babies by my side." Ngumuso ako pero deep inside, damn it. This side of Johansson is just so... urgh...
"That was a long bath, are you that tired?"
"Actually pero okay lang, it was just a long day."
Kabanata 54
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