love in my lyrics (jongtae fanfic)

You didn't say goodbye

Jonghyun p.o.v

"Where are you going?!" Taemin shouted his voice husky "you haven't said goodbye!". Tears started to run down his face "you... didn't say goodbye" he sobbed.

I started walking to board the plane "I'm so sorry taemin I'm so sorry" I sobbed into my hand.

Taemin p.o.v

My world was crushed again. Without jonghyun, without a family to support me I had nothing. A warm embrace gently contorted me "don't worry I am here" he said softly. "Kai?" I asked. And he nodded.

Kai was my childhood friend he was truly my bestfriend. I hugged him tightly "he didn't say goodbye... why?... why did he just leave me like that...  why?" I sobbed and he gently rubbed my back "it's okay I'm here." He said.

Kai was always there... he always had been but how did he find me? And where had he been? So many question but such little time at that moment as everything felt like a dream... not a dream more like a nightmare.

Somehow I had drifted off.

Waking up my whole body had ached completely and I tried to look around but I had no strength to do so. The smell of something cooking smelled so tempting but my stomach just twisted and knotted and hunger left me quickly.

I lay there reminded of the day I woke up from the coma and I cried. I had promised myself I would never be in this situation again, that I would always be with jjong and I would be happy but why is jjong my heartbreak and saddness?

I forced myself to curl into ball and I cried. Sometimes crying helps but for me when I cry it just digs me deeper causing me to drown. I gasped for air trying to find some escape but there was non.

Exhaustion coming in waves I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

My dreams just as twisted and disturb as I was.

My dream consisting of this;

I woke up in a room and as I stood up I started to walk towards a white do and a voice would scream "don't go in there! Please stay with us!" And I would turn and see jonghyun. My instincts telling me to run I ran to him but the floor started to melt and I was sinking into it. I reached out to him "help me!" I would shout but he would turn and walk away saying something I couldn't hear and then something would grab me and I would wake up.

Breathing heavily I would sit up looking around but this time kai had a hand on my forehead. I looked at him and he smiled "you awake?" And then like that conscious left me again.

I slipped out of conscious often and not enough to be asleep.

Kai took me to the doctors they diagnosed me clinically depressed. I was just an empty shell which was hollow and emotionless. Soon it took a toll on kai how I never spoke, rarely ate and sleep most often. In the end I ended up back at minho's.

Minho.... minho was my friend he was there. He didn't ask too many questions he just excepted but I knew he had a look to him of worry.

My tears that were constantly streaming grew heavier when I remember the look they gave me. I was weak and fragile, I drove people away just as I had done to kai and jjong. I brought unhappiness where ever I went.

The worst of all was when I heard key arguing with minho.

"That asshole needs to pa!" He screamed smashing his fist on something. "Calm down... you'll wake up taemin" minho said quietly. "what? Shall I be quite! Shall I?" He shouted in protest. "key we are just as upset as you are" minho said slight anger in his tone this time.

"Upset! Upset! Do you know what's upsetting me?" He shouted and there was silence. "It's killing me to see him in that bed wasting away! It hurts so bad watching his waste away to skin and bones! It hurts.... I wish it didn't but it hurts to see him give up on life because him" he said his voice trembling as he continued to speak.

Silence filled the room and I cried quietly to myself. Seeing them be destroyed by my depression only made me sink deeper. Tomorrow will be different. I will act different.