love in my lyrics (jongtae fanfic)

loosing hope

(Keys p.o.v)

i dragged myself from school to home which seemed like a lifetime. my tears drowned my face and dampened my tears. walking through the door I went to my bed. looking in the mirror I saw my eyes red and swollen. i breathed in and out and wiped away the tears. walking to my wardrobe I pulled out a t ' shirt, jump and jeans. i changed into them and walked up to the mirror my eyes looked lifeless and dead, I tried a smile but my face felt numb from the tears. walking to the bathroom I grabbed a flannel and reduced the swelling.

Once i looked presentable i left my home and made my way to the hospital. on the way i practice my smile in hopes it wouldn't look obvious that i was missing taemin. Once i was at the hospital i coached myself to smile and be happy.

i breathed in and out. i opened the door and jonghyun was there sitting there by taemins bed side. "jjong?" I ask walking towards him. I tapped him on the shoulder "jjong wakey wakey". he blinked and looked at me. "Hey key when did you get here" he smiled at me in a daze. "ya what would you do if I hadn't come" I ruffled his hair.

i sat down on a chair. "go and get something to eat" I instructed and pointed towards the door. he nodded and walked away like a zombie.

Once the door was closed i blinked hard trying to hold back the tears. "taemin....wake up soon okay?" I say holding back the tears that fill my eyes. i pull out a book "here this book has just come out... its really funny and sad but sweet at other times.... i was thinking that jjong could read you it" I said feeling the tear over flow. "taemin why did I have to love you" I place my head in my hand "it's not fair why is God so cruel" I sobbed. There was a Creek by the door and i saw minho standing there wide eyed.

"minho....its not what you think" I say startled and embarrassed. he smiles "when jonghyun get back why don't we have a chat okay?". i nod. Onew walked in with a lollipop and a smile on his face. he Sat by taemin still eating his lollipop.

jonghyun walks in with a blank expression on his face. He sat in the chair and became the lifeless form watching over taemin again.

onews smile fades "what's wrong jjong ?" he says "do you want a lollipop?" he offers jjong. jjong looks at him and for a long time he smiles. "thanks onew" he says taking the lollipop but his smile does not last long and his expression returns back to the lifeless zombie he has become.

i know this was hard on jonghyun and that's why I held my feelings back for taemin because I knew deep down in my heart that they both loved each other and that's what hurt the most.