Even in a Thousand Years

Prologue

    'Live life to the fullest' they say but how can you do so if people around you always judge and monitors your actions? How can you show what you possess if people around you criticize you before you have even begun doing a thing? How can you blossom your skills if people neglects you and treats you astray? How can you show them that you have regretted that single mistake in the past when they cannot move on to the past and always think of you as the girl in the past? People judge you when you only made one mistake compared to them who made ample of mistakes and yet they always get away from it. They notice you in every motion you do, though they do not see what wrong doings the too commit. They see every imperfection you have though they do not see their own.

                You felt lost, cold, alone and hurt but you have never had the chance to stand up again as people always bring you down. However, they do not know the real reason behind your frowns and dismays. People always see your smiles yet they do not know that behind those smiles is a problem that you cannot seize. You always feel lost and conked out yet people say you do not have a problem at all, that your life is so perfect. The past has shattered you and yet you are standing and surviving day by day. Feeling lost and conked out is one thing but feeling pained is another thing they say, but how can you decipher those things when all of those emotions are those of what you are feeling at this very moment, and when you feel this in every moment you are in motion. People around you say they have felt the emotions you are feeling right now, but how could they tell when their pain is only a portion of what you are feeling.

              As you try to amend, stand up for yourself and prove people wrong, someone will show up and will show you how to smile, laugh, have fun and mostly how to love. That person is the one who you will love you, the one who will once again let you feel happiness, and you will once again know the feeling of love and care. However, every event have a challenge correct? Someone will come by and try to ruin it all. As soon as you feel your relationship is strong and standing tall, people will start to see what the real you is, that you are fun to be with, that you are not the person whom those rumors said you are. They will soon realize that the rumors they have spread are wrong and disappointing; it may even be deceiving, as countless people believe in rumors and gossips around but not the truth. They will soon discover that there is that warm sensation you can bring to whom you meet.

             Over the times that that person whom loves you, despite from all the rumors and gossips around will forever love, cherish, guide, care, and support you. Even in tough problems and aching pain and miseries, that person will be there. That person will help you in every step of the way. As the heavens may take someone that cared for you throughout the years, that person will help you get through it all. That person will be the one who will never leave your side. Even in a thousand years, that person will never break you, hurt you, let go of you. That person will never leave you like garbage along the sidewalk to crumble, fall, and be reminiscent of a living corpse once more.

               They will soon notice that in each day that passes by, you are gaining bountiful amount of people who truly adores you and see the true feeling in you. Those who brought you down will go down themselves as people around will realize that they are the ones who are disappointing and spiteful. As they try to apologize, you may accept it for it is in your nature to be a warm-hearted and forgiving person you are. However, you will not entrust them with anything of your secrets. You will only entrust your secrets to the ones who really are true and are by your side from the start. You will only open up to people who are honest and true to themselves.

               In time, you will soon feel adventure, strong feelings, lust, love, pain, loss, jealousy, and suspense in an upside down relationships. In time, you will feel empty, like someone is slipping through your fingers. You will face challenges on the way. You will face hardships, arguments, fights and love triangles. You will soon know that life is not easy as it seems but it is as great as life. In the end, someone may or may not sacrifice something in order to save the other. However, in that situation, you will find out that all throughout, someone truly loves you after every single incident, including the events that happened in your life.

            Every single day, I wake up and still feel the pain but somehow it seems to fade. I may be hallucinating or maybe I am being delusional but I have a feeling that it will get better. I may not hold the future but I will create my path. A path where those who broke me, ruined me and left me will finally know that I am different from what they say. People around me will soon realize that hurting people physically, mentally and emotionally will lead them to their own pain and suffering. We all need something but nothing is over when it comes to love. I may be compassionate, calm and kind about many things and I may not fight back but it does not mean that I am weak.

           Some people say that aggression, anger, and violence is not in my nature, I do not know whether what they say is true or not but I can't bring myself to hurt, be rude or even say hurtful words to someone. I have done that once before and I do not want to repeat it again because it hurt me 10 times more than it hurt whom I have said it to before. In the beginning, I thought I could bring myself to be fierce but then again who am I to be one. I am just someone whom people see as an innocent girl with a warm heart to people around her, yet they do not know the hardships I have been through in my life. There is one opportunity that came into my life that I did not expect, though I gladly accepted it, I am still in shock whether it is genuine or not. I am a seventeen-year-old high school student here in London and I am satisfied with my life, my name is Shania Angel Anne Carter and this is my story...