Sucker • {Nick Jonas}

12. i'm sorry

•texts; nick & sparrow•

Fairy Godmother Jonas ✨:
Hey..... are we okay?
read; 2:13pm

Fairy Godmother Jonas ✨:
Sparrow, come on. Tell me what I did wrong.
read; 2:20pm

Fairy Godmother Jonas ✨:
Whatever it was, I'm sorry.
read; 2:22pm

•••••

A week passed, and then another one did. Sparrow and Nick barely spoke off-stage. In fact, she was actively avoiding him.

The night she'd made that Instagram post and he'd come and found her where she was wandering around in circles outside of a bar just down the street from their hotel, they'd slept together.

Kissing him and flirting with him were one thing, but sleeping together changed everything, it always did. It made things more serious, more concrete, and Sparrow wasn't ready for that.

Obviously, she'd been half of the decision-making process, so it was just as much her fault as his, but sober her knew it shouldn't have happened. She liked Nick, she really did, but she still wasn't sure she wanted to be on that level with him or anyone else for that matter. She knew it wasn't fair to him to sleep with him and then essentially ghost him, but for some reason in her mind that was easier than having an actual conversation with him.

In reality, she was scared. She was scared of having serious feelings for someone and of giving parts of herself to someone that she'd never given to anyone before. She'd spent so long being so completely committed to herself and her music, and she'd worked so hard and was just starting to feel like it was all paying off. She was terrified of the idea that something as silly as a relationship could potentially distract her from all of that. She didn't know herself in a relationship, didn't know if she'd be able to juggle the two sides of herself. 

A knock on the door of her hotel room snapped her out of her thoughts. She made her way to the door and looked into the peephole, straight into Nick's gaze. She froze, not totally sure what to do. She knew she needed to talk to him, but realistically had absolutely no idea what to say.

"I know you're in there, Sparrow. Joe told me he just asked if you were and you said yes. Plus, I just heard you walk up to the door," he told her quietly, and she cursed Joe for his part in Nick's apparent plan. She sighed and pulled the door open, her eyes not connecting with his.

"Can I come in, please?" he asked her, and it stabbed her in the heart how sad his voice sounded. She nodded and stepped aside.

"I'm sorry," she blurted before he had a chance to speak. "I know I've been an asshole, I just can't... I don't know what to do."

"You don't know what to do about what?" he asked her, quirking an eyebrow.

"You. Us. Anything."

He nodded, and her eyes floated up to his face for the first time. He was trying to hide his emotions and failing horribly. He looked upset, and she almost expected him to yell at her for being frustrating, which she would've deserved. Instead he just shrugged.

"Clearly you wish nothing had ever happened between us, and that's fine. I'm sorry it did; I'm sorry if I pressured you in any way, and I hope you don't think I was only friendly with you to get in your pants, because that's absolutely not the case," he told her, and she immediately shook her head.

"I didn't think that."

"Okay, well... I don't know what else to say. If you don't want to be friends that's fine, but I need you to tell me. The ball's fully in your court here, Sparrow. I'm not totally sure what happened and you don't really have to tell me if you don't want to, but I do need to know what you want to do moving forward. I don't... I don't think I'll be able to do our song anymore if you don't want anything to do with me, so we'll have to adjust that at the very least."

Tears rose to Sparrow's eyes and she felt like an absolute idiot. Nick seemed so genuinely confused and hurt and it all made her head hurt.

"I think... I think we need to take some time. I just... I don't know, okay? I don't. I liked you, I still like you, but I just... I don't know how to do this and I don't think I can right now," she told him tearfully, shaking her head. He closed his eyes tightly and nodded slowly.

"Okay. If that's what you want... okay. I'm not going to say I understand, because I don't really but I'll give you the space you need. I'm sorry."

"Me too," she whispered, closing her own eyes. A second later, his hands landed on her shoulders, startling her. She opened her eyes and found herself falling right into his gaze. He didn't say anything, instead he just kissed her forehead and turned and left the room quietly.

•••••

•texts; sparrow & daisy•

sparrow:
hey, are you busy? can you facetime?

Dais 🌼:
I'm not busy. What's wrong? You only want to FaceTime when something's wrong.

•outgoing facetime call to Dais 🌼•