Purified - Bennoda

Chapter Four

The crowd was gradually growing as more people realized who they were, but people from the hotel started coming out to help the band successfully reach their rooms. Mike smiled to the group of strangers and announced where our three shows in Vegas would be, asking them to go see the show. Many people responded they already had tickets, others seemed excited as though they hadn't known we would be here until now. It distracted me from the nightmares and troubled thoughts for awhile.

When we parted ways in the hotel with our bunk buddy, we went to our own respective rooms and agreed to meet up later. I was thrilled to see our suite and had a view of the fountain and the tower, I couldn't wait to see all the beautiful Vegas lights at dusk. I claimed the bed closest to the window and sat down, Mike sitting across from me with a kind smile.

"Last time we stayed in Vegas, I really wanted to stay at this hotel, I'm excited. They have lots of art all over the place," He starts a small conversation to keep me from getting distracted by my thoughts. "It's very beautiful."

"Yeah," I manage a smile. "Vegas itself is beautiful."

"Busy cities can be equally as overwhelming as they are pretty," He mused, I nodded in agreement. "Is there anything you want to do while we're here?"

"We've been here so many times, I'm a little burnt out on Vegas. I can still appreciate it's beauty, though. What about you?" 

"Well, they're always changing the art around the city, but otherwise I feel the same way," Mike sighed, he seemed upset.

"What's wrong?"

"I just... I keep pretending everything is fine for your sake, but I don't know how much longer I can. Honestly, I'm extremely worried about you," He admitted and my heart felt like it dropped into my stomach. "I just want to help you."

"Mike, you are helping me, you've already done more than anyone else," I tried to reassure him, but I could see it wasn't helping.

"I can't stop myself from believing I'm not doing enough. You won't tell me what's wrong," He sighed. "It's obvious it's something from your past, I just wish you could open up to me. Let me help. I know it's probably not that easy, I'm sorry, I just desperately want to help you."

"Now you're apologizing for no reason? Mike, I appreciate everything you do for me and I promise you I am slowly opening up. You're the only person who can pull the words that I need to say out of my mouth," I honestly admit as his expression forms into thoughtfulness.

"Promise you'll tell me about this eventually?" He pleaded, I nodded in agreement, not internalizing the fact that it meant revealing everything at some point. "You will? You promise?"

"I promise," I swore, he gave a small smile.

"Joe and I are going to a few art shows, you wanna come with us?" He asked in a way that said he really wanted me to go. It feels like Mike doesn't want me to be by myself. Nevertheless, I shook my head, saying no. "No? You sure?"

"Yeah, that's alright, I think I'm going to just try relaxing."

"Yeah, you really should. I can feel the anxiety radiating off you," He chuckled with me lightly. "I'll be back later, at least call me once while I'm out so I know you're okay, I don't know when I'll be back."

"Everything will be fine, Mike, now you're the one constantly worrying," I grinned, which seemed to ease him a bit. We said goodbye to each other and gave a brief hug before he left.

Once alone, I allowed the silence to overwhelm my ears, only to be interrupted and startled by a loud noise. After flinching, I went up to the window and discovered the source - the large fountain outside the hotel was starting a show, the water being shot up in the air almost as high as the tower. It looked incredible from within the hotel and I no longer cared that the noise had initially scared me. After a couple minutes, the show was over and I retired back to the bed.

I was tired still, even after trying to get so much sleep. I wondered how much I actually rested considering my nightmares and figured I probably did need more sleep. Hesitating, I wasn't sure if I should even try. Mike wouldn't be around to wake me and the nightmares struck at my core. Refusing to submit to insomnia as I had in the past due to the nightmares, I prepared to sleep.

I was staying the night at Charlie's and he insisted on going to bed earlier than usual. I didn't complain, not wanting to remind him of his games, and followed him to his bedroom. When he opened the door, I was shocked by the mess. Garbage, toys, clothes, all sorts of stuff was strewn about the entirety of the floor. Oddly enough, his bed was on its side and leaning against the wall, exposing the underneath which was covered in small nails. The only clean area in the room was directly in front of the nails, a perfectly made, bare square of floor.

Grabbing a blanket and pillow for himself, offering me nothing, he directed me to sit in the square. Confused, but not wanting to anger him, I obeyed and was about to clear some of the stuff away so I could lay on the floor at least, and he snapped at me for touching his stuff. He sat in a spot he made not a foot away and laid down, saying goodnight. It was obvious he was planning something, but I didn't know what to do as I sat up, trying not to lean into the nails behind me. Sitting up for hours, I figured Charlie had fallen asleep and I was slowly starting to myself. I remember the moonlight shinning into the room right before I fell asleep sitting up.

Feeling as though I had just passed out, I was crudely awakened with a foot in my stomach, pressing my back into the nails behind me. Thinking Charlie had kicked me in his sleep, I tried to hold back my pained yelp. He pulled away and I started to settle down, convincing myself he was doing it in his sleep. My heart was racing profoundly and I was now wide awake. The nails had pricked through my shirt and pierced my skin in several places. It was more painful than Charlie stabbing me with tacks.

As I was settling down, his foot crashed into my stomach again and I tried pushing back against him, attempting to keep the nails from stabbing me. I could feel them poke through my shirt before I started resisting. Small trickles of liquid started running down my back from the first kick that caught me off guard. I saw his eyes were shut and kept telling myself he was asleep, but I didn't want to risk getting kicked again.

I was about to get up when he kicked at me again, but I slid away, narrowly avoiding his foot. I was scared and confused, my breath caught in my throat. I decided I wasn't going to stay and started grabbing my coat and shoes from outside his room. When I was about to leave, I peered back in and saw Charlie sitting up, a wide smile across his face. I immediately turned tail and went home.

I sat outside my house while my family was sleeping inside. I tried making sense of what happened at Charlie's, but wasn't sure what to make of it. I was scared, but felt I had to let Charlie do whatever he wanted, in fear of his threats. Once the sun started to rise, my mother opened the door and was about to head for work. She asked how long I was out there and I claimed Charlie and I had a fight, so I went home in the middle of the night. She scolded me and said I should've just stayed at his house and to do so next time. I wanted to cry and tell her she didn't understand, but felt I couldn't. She grounded me for the day, which made me feel a little better. At least I'd have a day away from Charlie.