Climax

My Man - 6

He's a good cop. I wanted him to live. Deep down I still cared for him.

"Millie? Get down." Gavin shook me.

I wiped my eyes and looked at the hospital. I hated it. I visited it ever so often for one or the other friend of mine. Just the view of it made me queasy.

Letting out a breath, I got down.

Gavin took me directly to intensive care.

"How bad is it?" I asked, at last ready to hear his answer.

"Very. He lost too much blood. And nerve damage."

I staggered. "No."

Gavin talked with a nurse and she nodded and pointed me at the hospital gowns.

I wore the overall and went into the quiet hall, there was no sound except the ominous beeping from machines.

Sam looked like he was in deep sleep. No visible bandages except in his right forearm. From elbow to fingers it's wrapped in bandages.

It didn't look very bad, he must've broken a bone or two. Then I remembered. It's a bullet. Blood loss. Nerve damage.

I didn't remember how I got out. The nurse handed me a glass of water.

"I brought the forms here, so that you don't have to walk back and forth. Please read and let me know if you have any queries. Doctor will be here in a moment to explain." She thrust a sheaf of papers in my hands.

I looked at Gavin. "What is this for? Does he have surgery? Am I his emergency contact?"

Gavin looked at me with pity. He came and sat next to me.

"I'm his emergency contact. You're his advance directive."

"What's that?" I leaned back on the chair to stop the trembling.

He made eye contact, "Medical decision maker, you can decide on behalf of him."

The papers fell from my grip, "what?"

"Doctors want to do some advanced, high risk neurosurgery, which would give him a chance at life, but it may take away his mobility."

I closed my eyes. Fuck you, Sam. Fuck you.

Gavin wrapped me in a hug. "You have to stay strong. He trusts in you. Stop crying and sign that thing."

A doctor came and explained in length the risks and benefits of the surgery. I didn't see it as a choice. I signed the papers to proceed with the surgery.

He had a lot to offer even if he can't walk or eat on his own. If he didn't like it, he had to deal with it. It's him who gave me the fucking authority to decide.

And I decided he should live.

It's a six hours procedure.

Gavin sat with me.

"What about his family? Did you inform them?"

Gavin stared at me. "You don't know?"

"What?" It seemed to be the question of the night.

"His parents disowned him, like officially."

"The fuck? Why?" I remembered him showing me family Christmas pictures when he taught me to knead pizza dough. I suppressed a sob. I shouldn't think about those days.

"Why else? He told them he was gay. Ta da." Gavin spread his hands.

Gay?

"When was this?" Sam wasn't gay, if he was, then I was straight.

"Hmm... don't remember exactly, around the time we first got posted. What's it now? Three years? Fuck, time flies." Gavin sighed.

"What about his siblings?" He had two brothers and a sister.

"I don't think anyone is in touch with him. I'm surprised you didn't know." He studied me.

I wiggled in my seat, unnerved. "We're not close friends." I said, I only had a passing acquaintance with Gavin, with no clue about how much he knew about Sam or me.

Gavin scoffed. "Right. That's why you're signing off his life or death forms."

"I'm shocked that he had given my name. Maybe he did it at the beginning. He might have updated the details when we were close, then forgot to change it when we... drifted apart." I finished lamely.

"Yeah? When did you drift apart?"

"Close to three years."

"Oh my fucking god!"

"What?"

"We all have to review and update this thing every three months. Sheriff's rule. Guess when we last updated?" His eyebrows went up.

It's a rhetorical question. It couldn't be beyond three months. So I stayed silent.

"Last fucking week. And you say you guys were fucking drifted two year ago. So it's true!" He slapped his thigh.

I looked around to see if anyone noticed his increased volume. The corridor was thankfully empty.

"What's true?"

He shook his head. "When he wakes up, ask him about the New York posting."

"What does that mean?"

"It means he's fucking crazy about you. I thought you guys were having a secret affair or some shit. He kept denying. Now I know he told the truth."

I buried my head in my hands. Why Sam? For the past three years I have been trying my hardest to stay away from him. He had been trying to get me back. For what? To be friends with benefits? To be his proxy woman?

"I don't get it. You look like a distraught lover, you're crying your eyes out from the second I picked you up. You fucking fainted after seeing him. What in the ever fucking shit happened between you two?"

"It's... it's..."

"I know, none of my business. Do you want something to eat? I'm going out for a smoke." Just like that Gavin dropped the topic.

I shook my head.

After thirty minutes he came back with a burger and cola and glared at me until I took them.

We sat in companionable silence, waiting for the OT doors to open.

**** End of Chapter Six ****