Who She Is

~19~

Alyx's POV

I didn't sit with her friends much longer. I was going to join Wes, but he was already gone. So, I scarfed my food down and went ahead to sixth period.

She didn't come to class after lunch. I figured she wouldn't. I assume she probably left after all that drama. I don't blame her. I would've left, too.

I ended up walking home from school today. Mom is home when I get there, dressed in her uniform. I'm guessing she's about to leave.

"Hey, honey. I'm about to run. I made you a sandwich." It's ham and cheese, my favorite. I grab it off the plate and take a bite.

"Thanks, Mom," I say while chewing.

"Don't talk with your mouth full. That's gross." She lightly pinches my arm. "I'm not sure when I'll be home. Be careful and don't do anything you're not supposed to." She stands on her tiptoes and kisses my cheek like I'm still a child, causing me to roll my eyes.

"I'm definitely throwing a rager here tonight," I say and laugh.

"Yeah, yeah. Love you.

"Love you, too. Be careful, Mom." She smiles and makes her way out of the door.

I finish my sandwich and head up to my bedroom. I take my shoes and pants off. I put some sweatpants on, grab my controller, and play for a little while.

I wonder how Amaya is doing. It was really awkward after they left. Did Jason go after her? Did they fight some more? He was such a dick today. It was nice watching Amaya put him in his place.

I check my phone to see it's nine thirty. I continue playing until I hear a knock on the front door. Who the hell is here this late? I head downstairs, and there's another slight knock that I barely hear. I pull the door open to see Amaya standing there with her arms wrapped around herself. She's wearing the same clothes from earlier, but her cardigan is hanging off her shoulders now. A big smile grows on her face when she sees me.

"H-hey, Alyx." She stops to let a hiccup out. "What's up?" Has she been drinking? Her eyes look red and dilated. Her hair is a little disheveled, too.

"Hey. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to come see you." Her brows furrow.

"Are you drunk?" I ask her.

She looks down and has a guilty expression. "Y-yeah."

Why is she the one stuttering now? I look out the door and see her car in the driveway. "Wait. Did you drive here?"

She pouts her lip out, and her eyes start to water. "Yeah. I'm sorry. I tried to drive carefully." A tear randomly rolls down her cheek. What the hell? No, no, no. Don't cry. She steps closer to me and wraps her arms around my waist. I gasp and hold my breath. What is she doing? I can't believe she's hugging me. Drunk or not. "I'm really sorry. Please don't be mad. I didn't have anywhere else to go, and I needed to leave."

I put one hand on her back to comfort her. I feel like she wouldn't want me to return the hug. "It's okay. Please don't cry. Where were you?"

She looks up with a glare in her eyes. "I don't cry. Rum makes me cry." She steps back and crosses her arms.

"Did Ronnie get it for you?"

"No. I stole it from my uncle. And I needed to leave before he found out."

"So, you came here?" To me? Why didn't she go to that spot under the bridge? Instead, she came to my house. My heart thumps harder at the thought.

"I'm sorry. I'll leave. I left my phone and couldn't ask in advance. I'm a terrible person." She turns to leave, but I instinctively grab her arm before quickly letting go. She turns and looks at me with sad eyes.

"No, you're not. Come in."

She steps through, and I shut the door behind us. I don't even say anything, but she immediately starts walking upstairs. Alright then. She walks in my room and plants herself on my bed. I take a seat beside her and notice she's holding her hand with her other one, like it's bothering her.

"Is your hand hurting?" She did deck a six-foot something dude in the face and hit Lexi a few times with the same hand, all within twenty-four hours.

"It's fine." She flexes her hand, and a twinge of pain crosses her face. I see a small spot on her hand that looks like it bled earlier. "When I hit Jason earlier, it broke the skin. It'll be fine."

"I can get you a band-aid." I jump up off the bed and go in my bathroom. I grab one and come back to the room. She's still sitting there, looking absolutely gorgeous. "H-here you go." Every time I remember how beautiful she is, I get all flustered and start stuttering again.

She looks at me from under her eyelashes. "Will you put it on for me?" She holds her hand out towards me.

I sit back down beside her and take the paper off the band-aid. Am I really about to experience the 'bandaging someone up' cliché? I lift my hand up to grab hers and almost tense up. I'm about to sort of hold hands with her. I grab her small hand and try to ignore the happiness going on in my head. I place the band-aid on the top of her knuckle and smoothen it out the best I can. I let go of her hand, and I shift my eyes up to her, instantly blushing. Was she staring at me the whole time?

"Can I ask why you drank?" I ask her, hoping she doesn't get mad.

"Because I love it. And I hate Jason." I like the second part of that. "And my uncle. I hate everyone, actually." Okay, that part, not so much.

"Oh," is all I say.

"But I don't hate you. You're the only one I actually like to be around." My pulse increases.

"What about your friends?"

"Well, I like Elaine, too. She's the only one that cares about me. At least, I think she does." She shrugs. "I like talking to you. I wish I could tell you more stuff."

"You can," I encourage her. I want to know more.

"No, I can't," she mumbles. She's looking down at the band-aid I put on her.

"W-why not? You can trust me."

"Yeah, maybe but I don't want you to stop liking me." My eyes widen at her response. What's that supposed to mean? Why not? I couldn't anyway but still. "Thanks for lying to Jason for me. I didn't know he would ask you that. He accused me of all kinds of things last night.

"It was no problem. I wasn't going to tell him about your spot."

"Thanks. I'm sorry I put you in this situation. Tell me if he starts to fuck with you. I'll punch him again."

My chest tightens. I love how she wants to defend me. O-okay." I prepare myself up to ask her something I've been wanting to for a while. "Can I ask you a question?"

She's still looking down, and she pushes her hair away from her face. "Sure."

"Why are you with Jason?"

"I told you I'm not with him."

"I know you're not, but why do you... sleep with him? I think you deserve better than him, honestly. From what you've told me and from what I've seen myself, he isn't the nicest person to you. And he should be. He should be lucky to be around you. He should respect and care about you, but he's humiliated you more times than I've seen him make you smile." In fact, I don't think he made her smile any last night. She doesn't say anything, so I continue. "S-sometimes, I wonder why you even put up with him." Maybe she won't be mad at that. It's not sometimes either; it's always.

She lifts her head up and stares at my door. She looks deep in thought. She sighs and flickers her eyes back to me before saying, "I don't know. He's comfortable. I've hooked up with him since freshman year. His friends are my friends. I was just comfortable with how things were going. I'm really complicated, and Jason knows me well enough that I can be somewhat relaxed. Until he started throwing my issues in my face when he gets angry. I have a lot of them... issues." She pauses and drops her eyes before adding, "So you shouldn't like me."

"I feel like that should be my decision," I tell her. Her eyes meet mine again; shock forming on her face. "And I want to."

A/N- Let me know what you think! Comment and vote!