Shards of Clear Glass

I'm Sorry

We enter the house, calm and easy. The anger and resentment I've been feeling for the past two days is gone, replaced by an eerie stillness that scares me even more.

    We all meet up at nerve, then Zak, Alex, and I go to the foyer, where spirits are said to manifest, and furniture is moved. I look around, both with my eyes and camera, but still see nothing. Zak calls my attention back to the investigation at hand as he asks me if I see anything.

    I shake my head, and can sense Zak's frustration. My own frustration mimics his, but we both have to move past it.

    "Who is here right now?... Why do you keep moving furniture in here?... Is it not in the same arrangement it was when you died, and that's why you move it?..." Zak asks the open, silent air. The EVP recorder in his hand glows red.

    Zak pauses, then clicks the recorder. Alex and I lean in to listen, but only Zak's words come from the device. We try for three hours, all over the house, but no spirits come through. Whether in voices, moved objects, sounds, or physical manifestation.

    Zak splits us up even further. I'm with Alex in one of the bedrooms, doing EMF (Electromagnetic Field) sweeps and waiting for the Ovulus to speak.

    Nothing happens for forever. Then, Alex hears something with his own ears, which he describes as a female voice calling for him outside. I tell him to go check it out, and that I'll stay in the room. He nods, then is gone in a flash.

    As soon as he’s gone, an overwhelming sadness envelops me. I sit down heavily on the bed, and place my camera next to me, facing my way. I take my glasses off my face, then put my head in my hands.

    My voice is heavy as it comes out of my mouth. "What's making me feel so sad all of a sudden? Is this you, Lillian?"

    Lillian is the last surviving girl of the original family who owned the house. She's the one who committed suicide after her family burned to death. Her mother is who the house is named after.

    "I know that you don't like me. Why don't you like me? What makes you hate me? Besides the similar stories," I say, my face still buried in my hands. The Ovulus beside me on the bedside table is silent, and I moan.

    "What can I do to appease you? What can I say or do to make you not hate me? Or for you to be free?" I ask, already dreading the silence that is sure to follow my questions.

    Surprisingly, the Ovulus speaks, saying Flowers and Bring.

    Caught off guard, I ask the automatic question: "What kind of flowers?"

    The Ovulus answers, saying Lilies.

    I put my glasses back on, and grab my camera. Swinging it around to face the Ovulus screen, I ask,"Lilies? Is this Lillian speaking? Are you the one making me feel sad?"

    The Ovulus lights up with two more messages, saying Cry. Not.

    I don't realize that tears are leaking from my eyes until that moment. I swipe my arm across my eyes, trying to dry my tears. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry. Who's making me cry?"

    The Ovulus speaks, but not with the words I expected. Family. Revenge.

    I blink at the device, then ask,"Is this Lillian speaking? Are you saying that you burned down your house in revenge against your family?" Just like everyone believed, I think.

    A pang jabs my chest, and I wince. The Ovulus speaks again; it's a chatty thing tonight.

    Fire. House. Burn. Before I can say anything more, it speaks again, saying, Father. Friend. Basement. The puzzle pieces are falling into place in my head now. I ask two questions that are burning on my tongue.

    "Did your father's friend hurt you in the basement, Lillian? What happened to the man who hurt you?"

    The Ovulus seems to pause, thinking, then says, Hurt. Man. Basement.

    I gasp, and say,"One of your father's friends hurt you in the basement. How so? Why?"

    Rape. Chains. Blood. Gun. Young.

    The five words come in rapid succession, causing chills to run down my back. I shiver, and ask quietly,"How did you get away? How did your father not know?"

    Memory. Gone. Dead. Remember.

    "You were given memory serum, and it wiped your memories. Until you died. Then you remembered." My mind is swimming, even as my mouth says the words. My soul feels detached from my body.

This conversation is starting to make me feel sick as images flash across my eyes. Images of a man holding a gun, and aiming it at my feet, my hands, my shoulder. Chains wrapping around my throat and wrists. Pain in my lower region.

    The Ovulus pulls me out of the flood of images and sensations by saying, Man. Died. Crash. Car.

    "The man who hurt you died in a car crash?" I ask, and I can sense the Ovulus pause, as if the spirit is surprised by the real pain in my voice.

    Luke. The name whispers in my mind, unbidden, and I throw it out of my thoughts as quickly as it came. No, I tell myself. I will not think about that bastard. Not here. Not now.

    The Ovulus speaks now, saying Explosion. Revenge. House. Man.

    The puzzle pieces are forming an image in my mind, one that I had thought of before. "Your father's friend died in a car crash. On the way to your house. Here. For revenge. He burned down the house using explosives. Preset explosives. With a timer. You were the only one to make it out alive."

    My words tremble, and my voice shakes. The Ovulus says Correct. The single word chills me to my core.
   
    "Ok. I got it. I got it. I'm so sorry for what happened to you, Lillian. I will bring you your flowers. I promise. I promise." That's all I can manage before the tears come rushing back. I try to stop them, but too many images-memories-are rushing before my eyes.

    The last thing I hear the Ovulus say is Thank you. Then, it goes silent.

    I cry for an eternity. I only notice that someone else is in the room after a hand lands on my shoulder. Strong arms wrap around me. I'm pulled towards Zak's chest. I inhale his apple and cinnamon scent, and try to calm down enough to talk.

    Once I have control over my emotions, I pull away from Zak.

    He looks at me with worry in his hazel eyes, and I can feel my heart wrench. For this is the man that changed everything for me. And Lillian never had a man like that.

    "I didn't see Lillian, or speak face-to-face with her. But I felt her, Zak. I felt her presence. I felt her pain. We need to bring lilies here, Zak. As soon as we can. She needs to be free. They all do." Zak nods, then asks,"Are you okay? Do you need a breather, or a break?"

    I shake my head, and say, in a slightly stronger voice,"No. They're talking to me now. I need to keep going. I need to try to free them." Zak nods, as if he expected my stubbornness to override my emotions and memories.

    We stand, and make our way out of the room, leaving the Ovulus where it lays. We meet up with the rest of the crew, and Mark looks at me with pity and concern.

    Right, I think. Mark was at nerve when this all happened. And an X-cam was in the room I was in. Crap.

    Though only Zak knows the full reason of why I broke down, I still didn't like my crewmates seeing me look weak. Too many years spent behind closed doors, hiding my pain, I guess.

    I try to get my head on straight for the rest of the night, and semi succeed. No other activity crops up, though. When morning comes, everyone is tired, especially me.

    We head back to the hotel, and crash. Well, mostly.