Ambivalence

With a glass of red wine in my shaky hands, I sat down on the couch across the love seat in my living room. A faint light seeped through the open colossal windows blowing in the chilly september breeze.

I glanced at the love seat across me and memories of our blissful moments on it invaded my hazy mind. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I brought the glass of wine to my trembling red-stained lips and took a sip. The crisp wine burned as it coursed its way through me, numbing my senses.

As if the bleak and sullen evening sky mirrored my emotions, a downpour began outside pelting down on the windows and roof rhythmically like a lullaby to my aching heart.

The intricately designed wooden door creaked open after a series of abrupt juggling of the keys into the keyhole.

Fear creeped its way up me and I began to shiver when he kicked the door open, aggressively.

The rage on his handsome face was evident as his lips curled into a snarl when his steel grey eyes landed on me.

Nathan stormed towards me with fury etching onto his features and harshly entangled the back of my curly brown hair in his fingers and pulled on it.

A gasp of agony escaped my trembling lips as he grabbed my jaw tightly between his thumb and forefinger and glared into my vulnerable hazel eyes, venomously.

"Where the fuck have you been Maria?" he roared at me seething with anger causing me to flinch visibly, "Why didn't you pick up my bloody calls?"

With the answer on my lips, I lost my train of thoughts when I risked a glance at his cold grey eyes for a moment and the fading memories of the warmth in them for me invaded my mind.

It seemed like as if all the euphoric moments between us had dwindled away like the love between us.

My vision blurred when my repressed tears threatened to fall down my moist cheeks.

"I-Ive been home all day," I stuttered with trepidation, my lips trembling, "A-And my phone was dead. Sorry, I forgot to-"

A backhanded slap landed across my cheek abruptly cutting me off and sent me tumbling down from the couch onto my hands and knees.

Excruciating pain blazed my cheek where his hand had struck me and silent sobs ripped out of me, uncontrollably.

Slowly, he kneeled across me and threaded my curly brown hair in his fingers and pushed them back behind my shoulders delicately.

I froze, bewildered.

He tilted my face up towards him tenderly with one of his cold fingers under my chin, forcing me to look at him. The rage in his dark grey eyes had seemed to diminish replaced with concern and affliction.

He grimaced and trailed a cold fingertip down my blazing sore and moist cheek making me flinch at his touch. I clenched my eyes shut tightly while tears of anguish escaped me.

Adventitiously, I felt his warm passionate lips kissing my tears away while he held my jaw tenderly.

I peered at him skeptically when he pulled away and cupped my face with his calloused hands. The solicitude and torment lacing his striking grey eyes held me riveted under his gaze.

He was an enigmatic maze that magnetized me and pulled me to jump over the edge into that dangerous arcane pool of desire.

And whenever those hands lingered over my body it sent jolts of electricity through my veins, evoking my buried love and lust for him.

His hot breath fanning against my parted lips brought me out of my trance. His face was mere inches away from mine and I could almost feel the warmth of his lips as they moved against mine when he whispered softly.