The Silent One

{Eight}

We drive for two hours, and then stop at Subway. While he orders our food, I change into jeans and a hoodie. I can only stand the school uniform for so long.

I eat while he changes in the building, and then I just stare up at the sky. It's not dark yet, which is good, because the safe-house is still an hour away.

I close my eyes and let the music playing from Kevin's iPod take me away.

'So now you're running; it's hard to see clearly,

'When I make you angry; you're stuck in the past.'

My eyes snap open. No.. it can't be...

'And now you're screaming; so can you forgive me?

'I've treated you badly; but I am still here.'

Oh no... this can't be happening...

I squeeze my eyes shut and curl my hands into fists, but the music is still playing loud.

'Sometimes I wonder, why I'm still waiting.

'Sometimes I'm shaking. That's how you make me.

'Sometimes I question, why I'm still here.'

Steven...

'Sometimes I think I'm going crazy...

'Can you help me understand?'

I don't want to remember. I can't remember. I'm not supposed to.

...right?

But I do.

'And now you wish that you meant something...

'And now you wish that you meant something, to somebody else.

'And now you wish that you met someone...

'And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else...'

The first time I heard this song, I was in the basement of our safe-house, the house Steven and I found and made our own. I was eating Oreo ice cream and listening to some sad song because I'd had a bad day at school. That was back when Lily and I were fighting, and she was saying all of these things behind my back. I'll admit, I wasn't being the best friend either, but I was getting really tired of her drama. There's a point where it's just too much, and I was at that point.

So that's where Steven found me. In the basement, with all the lights off and the music blasting, stuffing my face with ice cream. All he said was, "Lily again?" and when I didn't say anything, he knew.

I squeezed my eyes shut whenever he flicked on the lights. "Too bright..." I moaned. He laughed, took my iPod off of its iHome, and plugged is own iPod in. I blinked the red out of my eyes and started to ask him what he was doing. I really wasn't in the mood for his games...

"Shh." he told me, with a finger pressed against his lips. "Just listen to the song Ang."

So, grudgingly, and with crossed arms, I did. When it was over, I marched over, picked up his iPod, and, without a word, put the song on repeat. Then I stomped back over to my chair, sat down, and closed my eyes. Steven started to say something, probably "I told you so.", but I shoved my hand in his face and told him to shut up so I could hear the song.

And that's how we spend the rest of the evening. Listening. To the song, and to each other... we talked for hours. And that was one of the best times I ever spent with Steven. All because of that song.

xxx

When Kevin comes back, he's wearing faded jeans and a navy blue hoodie. He throws his bag in the backseat and then jumps into the front seat. I hand him his sandwich, turn the music on, and drive out of the driveway. He doesn't say anything about the song being on repeat, and I don't "say" anything either.

At the next stoplight, he asks me where we're going. I look over at him, think for a second, and then send him a text that says, 'Somewhere safe. We'll stay there until I figure out what to do next.'

He nods. "Okay. I trust you."

I smile.

He trusts me.

Maybe it won't be that hard having him around.

I'm just hoping things don't go wrong until they're supposed to.

Because that, would ruin everything.

- Alyssa <3