Jubilant's Melancholic Poems

Unworthy

They have killer expectations,
Leaving you to great frustration.
Tears came falling down,
From fears you always frown.

You wanted to be the perfect daughter ,
Though the idea is ideal for laughter.
No one is perfect including them,
But some are an exception it seem.

You hated yourself for being a failure,
Always in doubt and unsure.
You're not ready as you believe,
Day and night there's no relief.

You wanted to rest but couldn't,
Since you dreamt higher.
So fucking high to meet your parents expectation.
Not wasting their sacrifices, money and ambition.

You don't want to be an embarrassment,
When you can't do your reports, tasks and assignments.
You don't wanna be a laughing stock,
When the teacher tell everyone how dumb you are in a mock.

You're the elder child so give up a smile,
And you gotta be the role model,
Or you don't wanna be call dumb right?
Witted, foolish,  idiotic out of light.

You're so stupid when they all get it!
College is either gonna crush you or hit.
Never will you name yourself,
Never will you find a place like a book out of shelf.

You're so pathetic and weak!
So naive and easy to break!
You hated failure when you know you are one!
You're just a nobody or anyone!

You're wasting time, effort and money!
How are gonna pay up?  With honey?
We know that shit costs too a lot,
So suck it up and give it what you got.

Still you're a failure! 
You're so selfish and it's in your nature.
We're human beings after all.
You gave everything up but still you fall.

Sometimes you ask yourself does God exist?
At times like this you doubt him if he seize.
You ask yourself why am I not good enough?
Why am I so weak and not so smart and tough?

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What I feel like when I'm super stress. (always distress in school 😅)
My teacher even like the poem though she told me to have some positivity and faith next time.