Villainous Oneshots

Forget Me Not Pt.2 | Black Hat x Reader

"Will you ever knock, or am I going to have to wait another ten minutes as you stand outside my door before your two brain cells finally rub together, allowing you to perform a complete action?" came a gruff, annoyed voice from the bedroom, distinct and unmistakably your ill-intended, dastardly boss, Black Hat.

You fumbled, losing your wits in one fatal swoop as you felt your face heat up. At the present moment, you were thoroughly debating whether being eaten by Little Jack was a better fate than this.

Clearing your throat with whatever sense of prestige and dignity you could muster, you knocked lightly on his door.

A loud sigh could be heard from the other side.

"Come in."

The door creaked in an obnoxiously loud manner as you entered slowly, awkwardly stepping inside as you rubbed the back of your neck.

"Ah, how did you know I was waiting outside?" you asked meekly, shuffling your feet as you gave the eldritch horror sitting in front of you at his desk a lopsided, uneasy smile.

"You've seen me shape-shift into unimaginable images of horror, bend the laws of physics and the natural order, and tear literal gashes through the very fabric of reality, yet you ask me how I knew you were loitering in front of my bedroom entrance. Is that correct?" he questioned with a tone of exasperation, shifting in his chair to get a better view of your slumped figure.

This was starting out just superbly, you thought to yourself bitterly.

"Ahem, yes," you stated in the most matter-of-fact voice you could muster, "Yes, that is my question, sir."

"I'm a being of immeasurable power; of course I could sense you standing there."

"Really? I was kinda wondering more about the specifics as to how you realized I was there. Like, uh, do you have super-hearing or maybe an all-seeing eye you hide under the hat? Whoa, could you smell me or someth-"

"I saw your shoes pacing around from under the crack in the doorframe, and you aren't as quiet as you think you are. I heard you mutter something about stationary. Remind me not to assign you to any stealth missions," Black Hat admitted with an air of defeat, already second-guessing his choice of allowing you to come visit him.

"Oh, oh that's cool..." you replied with an awkward laugh, "I'm really glad it wasn't the smelling thing I was talking about. Don't tell anyone, but I forgot deodorant this morning."

Black Had responded with a blank stare.

You contemplated whistling for Little Jack.

"Let me restart. I'm sorry; I really wanted to make a good entrance," you said softly, adjusting the bag at your side and fixing your posture, smoothing down the wrinkles of your clothes.

"I saw your letter, and I just want to let you know that I won't disappoint you in my performance. It's an honor to keep you company, and I promise to make sure you aren't bored for the rest of the night," you confessed sincerely, meaning every word with the purest of sentiments.

"Do you realize that when you put it like that you sound like a very eager prostitute?" asked Black Hat from his seat, deadpan.

"Wait... This isn't that, right?" you replied in horror, taking a few steps back and mentally recounting every step and choice in your life that led to this unfortunate meeting with your boss.

"No, of course this isn't that you absolute moron," he almost shouted, finally losing his cool as he stood up and pointed to a corner of the room, the lights flickering ominously due to his anger. "Just sit there and be quiet for a few moments, won't you?"