Just a Boy

Two

Two

It was probably somewhere around the 6 months point that I realised what my mother was doing. She'd put me to bed nice and snuggly, and then go out. I was always alone. But never for long. She'd then come back home with a man, a different man every night, and I'd struggle to block out their noises.

But our money situation had improved significantly in that six months. Mr Linderman let's us stay in the house, as long as he gets his way with my mother every Thursday night. Also, I got actual bed sheets! They were thick and soft and I loved them.

I can remember one night however, when I crept downstairs after the strange men had gone and I ask mom for a cuddle. That was when I realised things were changing. She was sat on the couch in a red dress, that was much too short for her, and her hair was more like a birds nest then a nice hairstyle.

After I had asked her, she rolled her eyes and said I was too big to do that. And she took another drag of her cigarette. I got upset and went upstairs back to bed.

When I got up the following morning, my mother was still on the couch in her red dress. She was asleep and her make up had smudged everywhere.

"Mommy?" I remember I said gently, rocking her a little to get her to wake up. She opened an eye and saw me, giving me a signature smile of hers. It gave me so much reassurance that things were going to be okay. I had no idea, that I would never see that smile again after that.

There was suddenly hammering at the front door. My mother went to answer it and within a second Mr Linderman was in our living room.

"You're slacking" he spat at her. She apologised profoundly and begged that he give her another week to get the money. She had a set amount she had to achieve by the end of the month.

I tried to tip toe out the room subtly without him noticing me. Mr Linderman scared me. "Hold it" he sneered. I was only a step away from the stair case. I turned to look at him. My mother looked nervous. "Say, you've really grown since I last saw you, Gage" he said, walking towards me. One thing I learnt from mom, was to never walk away from him. Ever.

"Don't hurt him, please" she quietly asked. He hit her in the stomach, and she quieted down. It made me feel even more nervous. Was he about to do that to me to?

"Gage. How would you like to help mommy out?" He asked, crouching to my level and putting his arm around my shoulders.

"No!" My mother gasped, still holding her stomach.

"Quiet!" He spat over to her. When he looked back at me I realised I simply didn't have a choice. I had to do what he wanted. I nodded sheepishly, totally unaware of how much my life would be ruined by that decision. "Good choice Gage. Come with me" he said, standing up and putting his hand out for me to hold. I took it, knowing I had to.

He lead me down to his house just a few doors down. And we proceeded into his basement. It was dark, and cold.

"Take off your clothes Gage, and stand on the little bit of tape over there" he said. I did as I was told. As I say, he scares me. He pulled out his camera and took photos of me from all angles. This didn't hurt. But I didn't know of the severity of his actions.

"Can I go home now?" I asked him, as soon as he'd finished.

"Well you see Gage, I'm going to show my friends the pictures of you so they can see how handsome you are. Then they're going to want to play a game with you. But I need to show you the rules first" he said, approaching my still naked body. He took my hand and took me to the pull out mattress in the corner. "Lay down. I'll teach you how to play" he said with an evil grin as he got to work violated my body.

I limped my way back home. My mother was asleep on the couch as I walked in. Her special bottle of grown up juice was on the coffee table again. I sighed, and went upstairs to go to bed. I didn't like Mr Linderman's game very much. It hurt. He said I'll get better, but I'm not so sure. I pulled my new sheets up over my head and cried. Why?

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A/N: is this too graphic? I'm not so sure I should be writing about this stuff... Need your advice xo