Midnight Serenade

Andante cantabile e molto affettuoso

"I will stay with you, my Angel."

Those words seemed to be echoing in my mind, trying to break my skull from the inside. My Angel, apparently pleased with this promise, even though he was the one to force it upon me, had left so I could try to rest. Although that day I had done almost nothing besides my singing lesson, I felt even more exhausted than ever. It was not physical fatigue... it had more to do with my thoughts and emotions. When I had left with him into this underworld, I had not been prepared for this kind of experience... and now I was paying a terrible price.

As soon as he had left, I sighed and returned to the bed, curling up, as if it could produce some kind of shield around me. Never before had I felt this vulnerable, this exposed, although he had done nothing to actually hurt me. He barely touched me... and his touches were rather tender and warm. I still remembered that soft caress of his gloved fingers upon my cheek, and if I could think of it without thinking of the promise he had forced me to make... it might have even been pleasant.

However, then I thought of his firm grasp upon my wirsts and I opened my eyes to glance at them. My skin there was red and I could feel it burn; everyone would notice it if I returned back to the opera house... and as soon as that idea came to my mind, I once again remembered I would never be going back up there.

He was a monster. I had no idea whether he was aware of that or not... but he definitely had very little in common with a human being. Maybe it was because he had never really got to know what real love tastes like... but it still was not enough of an excuse. No man, even the one who had been hurt in past, has the right to treat another person the way he treated me. He played with my mind, he made me hate him as well as myself.

I was not sure when I had fallen asleep; I got to know about it only when I woke up, completely confused. Hardly remembering anything from before (or maybe sure it had been just a bad dream), I sat up quickly, looking around. At first, I did not recognise the place, but then, I realised that what I had in mind was not a nightmare, just my life from now on, and I knew it would be better for me if I got used to it. Maybe one day I would even be able to find a tiny droplet of happiness in this quasi-life.

Maybe I should not have thought that way. I should have fought, I knew that, but at the same time I realised I might never be able to get back to the life I had known. And if I kept fighting, I would never be happy again. And I did want to taste at least some happiness – I was so young and I believed I deserved it if I were to live on.

As I finally calmed down a bit, I noticed that something had been placed on the bedside table. At first, I was afraid to check what it was, but after a while, my curiosity won and I turned in that direction to find out that my Angel had brought a cup of water as well as a bowl of fruit for me to eat. That was when my stomach grumbled, remembering that it still needed food, despite the fact I was now dead to the world.

Beneath the bowl, as I noticed then, there was a piece of paper. I recognised my Angel's handwriting – I had seen it just once, when I had been singing the tune he had composed, and yet, I was sure I would always be able to distinguish it from any other.

At last, I sat back down on the edge of the bed and reached for the cup. It was the first time water actually tasted this wonderful to me. I drank quickly half of it, then put it aside, beginning to eat; I did not care about being elegant at that moment, so I grasped the piece of paper and unfolded it, letting it rest against the cup so I was able to read while eating.

I was not quite sure what I had expected... maybe I should have expected exactly what I found, because as I thought about it later on, I realised that it was probably the most natural of all possibilities.