You're cold and I burn / Band Of Brothers Winnix

One shot {24} / Same Mistakes

It was dark outside.

Nixon waited for Winters to come back home. Again. Dick hadnt called, nor said that he will be late. Again.

Actually Lew wanted to prepare a real nice dinner for them. But when it was getting dark, when the clock showed 7 pm, he knew that Winters woud be late. So he just took a beer out of the fridge, sat down on their sofa and waited. And waited. And waited.

He must have fallen asleep at some point because a shutting door woke him up.
Someone was sighing and taking off his jacket. Dick!
Lew jumped up and looked around the door. It was Dick, indeed.

"You are late", Lew stated.
"I know. Office was busy." Winters took off his shoes and picked up his bag from the floor, now facing Lewis.
"You could have called-", Lew mumbled.
Dick sighed again, shook his head and passed Nixon.
"There was no time, Lew! And I really didnt think about it."
"I waited for you"
"You didnt have to!"
"But i wanted to."

Dick looked him in the eye. He seemed frustrated. "What do you wanna hear? That i am sorry?"
"No-"
"Then what, Lew? What??"
"You could have called. I was worried!"
"Yeah, well, as i said, there was no time to call."

Winters turned and made his way upstairs to their bedroom.
"I am tired. Good night."

The door shut and Lew exhaled while he slided down the doorframe.

Another day when Dick came home late.

Nixon was already in bed, waiting for any noises that announced Winter's return.

When he finally entered the bedroom, Lew barely dared to breathe.

"Hey."
"Hi."
"You still awake?"
"Yeah, i was- i couldnt sleep."
Dick nodded and turned to go to the bathroom.

When he climbed into bed, Lew still was awake.

"You could have called."
"Lew- just dont"
"I just mean-"
"Dont!"
"Why not?"

Now Dick turned on the light.

"I am not a child, Lew. We arent at war anymore. Stop behaving like my mother."

That was what this was about. It was true Lew was struggling harder with being back at the real world. He was the one with nightmares, waking up screaming, paranoid where he went. It went so far, that he once had Dick slammed against a wall because he was hallucinating.

After that Lew went to therapy.

But now something was off. They knew something went wrong along the way they were now.

After the war they were happy. Finally they could be together. Exploring the feelings which were build up during the war, but surpressed until it was over.

They discovered themselves together again. Lew helped Dick to be more open and talk about what was going on, promising him to be here no matter what he was saying.
And he had proved that often enough. Once he accidently had pushed Winters to spit out what was going on in his head so much, that Winters had snapped. He had thrown shit of complaints at Lew. It had been horrible. But Lew had just stood there, taking it in. When Winters broke into tears and apologized, Lew had only hugged him and whispered that everything was gonna be alright.

And Winters had helped Lew to calm down and stop overthinking.
Whenever Lew had a panic attack about things that still triggered him, Dick had hold him tight and promised him that things will be better eventually.

Together they had went on a path of mental recovery. But now it seemed that they stuck.

Lew, still unimployed because his therapist wasnt sure that he was ready for that yet, was restless until Dick came home every night. He had still panic attacks now and then, and he was alone during everyone, no Dick with him to comfort him and that stoke his fears.

Dick was tired of carrying his and Lews emotional baggage and shut himself out again.
He hated coming home and being run over by Lew.

First they both just smiled and stayed quiet to not hurt the other one. But it wore them out.

Instead of talking, the problems grew and now  they played a game of waiting for the other one to end it.

They both accused the other one to have changed too much. But and that was the only hope, none of them want to end it for good. Maybe if they took a break, they could figure things out and come back together stronger than before.

And that was what they did...

...

Finally i managed to finish another chapter^^

Sorry my mental health is really bad atm...