Stronger Than Heaven

Chapter 10

The knife felt heavy in her hand, thought it was small and fit in her palm with ease. It was sticky with fresh blood that dripped between her fingers and she shuddered with disgust.

It was the knife that just killed the person she loved. The person she loved... who now lay lifeless a few feet from her, his eyes closed peacefully while his wound continued to bleed. Her throat ached from the screaming - the gutted, grief-stricken cry of someone who had just lost her entire world.

She felt empty. Vengeful... murderous as she looked up at the man who had just killed her lover.

Her father. But he was hardly that to her. He was a monster. A presence so evil that the world needed to be rid of. As she gripped the knife tighter and drove the blade through him, she didn't feel a thing but loathe. Pure loathing that she would never have thought she'd ever feel course through her veins.

Clary bolted upright, gasping for air and gripping the sheets with white knuckles. Her cheeks were wet with tears and she struggled to catch her breath. Her heart pounded in her chest as the nightmare burned in her mind.

Beside her, Jace stirred awake. "Clary?" he said, concern in his voice. He sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Hey," he whispered softly, tilting her chin towards him when he realized that she was quietly sobbing. "What's wrong? I'm here."

"I had a dream..."

"Yeah? What was it about?" He shifted so that he could gently brush her hair out of her face.

"Jace..." She paused, struggling to get the words out. "Did I..." A sob racked through her as she wrapped her mind around what she had just dreamt of. Was it real? "Did I kill my father?"

Jace's expression changed then and he straightened. He shifted his eyes downward, a troubled look passing across his face.

"Did I?" she asked again, more pressingly this time.

He looked up and replied in a dignified tone, "Yes, Clary. You did. And it was the right thing to do, I assure you of that. You are a hero for it." He took her face in his hands. "Don't you feel bad for that at all. I want you to know that you did the right thing. I know it can be confusing because yeah, he was your father. But he was an evil man who killed a lot of innocent people."

Tears streamed down her face then and another sob racked her body. "Jace, in my dream... you were dead. I've dreamt about that before. And I felt... I felt it in my bones."

He nodded. "But I'm here. By the grace of the angel, I'm still here and you're here with me."

"I wish I could remember," she said. "Why am I dreaming all of these things, but I can't remember? It's like trying to focus through a blurred window."

"I can't imagine what that must feel like." He kissed her forehead and stared into her eyes. "But hey, we're going to get some answers ok? We're in Idris now. There's nowhere better to be than with the support of Alec and Aline for us to get to the bottom of this."

She nodded and took in a shaky breath, the tears and sobs slowly subsiding. "I'm scared," she whispered. "What if it's not good?"

Jace's expression softened. "I've been praying too hard and I've fought too hard to give up. I'm not going to give up on us."

She pressed her forehead against his and closed her eyes. A moment of silence passed between them. "I know... I know in my past life, we had something stronger than anything that has ever existed. I feel it in my bones, even if I can't remember."

"Our story has been everything but easy, Clary. But you're worth it. WE are worth it."

-

Alec leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed and his eyebrows furrowed, studying Clary who sat in front of him. "So odd..." he murmured, rubbing the stubble on his chin. "You ended up in Alicante, but you don't remember anything?"