Out of Desperation Came Forever After

Chapter 11

I thought of my family. I tried to picture them each...remember their smiles. Remember our love. Remember quick scenes in my childhood.

I thought of my shows. I pictured thousands of cell phones held up as modern replacements for lighters. A sea of lights...all there, appreciating my music.

I thought of my guitars. I thought of my music. My career. It was so short lived. I had just gotten started. I had just made it to the big time. I worked so hard, for so long, and it had finally paid off.

And now it was all over. My life was over.

I had a good life, though. A family that loved me. Girlfriends. Music. I'd been around the entire world. I'd lived more than some people have lived even when they die from old age.

I had wild times. I've been high. I've been drunk. I've had great friends. I've met almost everyone I'd ever wanted to meet. I've partied......

And then the regrets came. I'd never gotten married. I'd never had children. I wanted children. I wanted them before age 30. They'd be my greatest accomplishment in life. My greatest love.....

Marcus lifted his gun and opened it. He spun the cylinder around once, and held it up to my face to show me. There was ONE single bullet inside.

He spun it around again, and clicked it shut, then looked at me and smiled.

He was going to play Russion roulette with me, until the bullet finally came up and killed me.

This coud be quick. Or this could be torture with every click of the trigger.

But no matter what, one of the clicks would be the last thing I'd ever hear.

My accomplishments. My regrets. Jenna being left here to be sexually tortured till the end of her life...her accomplishments. Her regrets. The biggest one HAD to be saving ME in that dark alley.

Everything hit me, and the tears finally broke through my mental barrier and flooded down my face.

I couldn't help it. I'd go out crying like a baby. Not like a man. I didn't care. I was done in a few seconds anyway.

Meanwhile, Marcus was backing up to the middle of the room.

Sir walked over to behind Jenna's head, and started running his stringy evil fingers through her hair, teasingly. Vince stood where he was, just watching. He actually looked concerned.

I wanted my last look to be at Jenna. So I locked my eyes on her, and didn't look away. Any second now, I'd hear the click. Or the shot.

I couldn't breathe. I was breathing too fast. Hyperventalating. It was working. The whole mental torture of Russian roulette was working. I was scared shitless. Waiting for a bullet to fly into my head and end me. I hoped it'd be quick. I hoped I wouldn't be able to feel it. I hoped I wouldn't be dying for long.

I stared at Jenna through my tears, and through my dizziness from breathing too fast and heavy.

My God, she was beautiful. Her hair. Her face. Her entire body. If you have to go, staring at a beautiful naked woman who loved you was certainly the way to do it, I thought to myself.

Jenna wasn't letting her head fall back anymore. She was straining her neck to keep her eyes locked on mine. Yet, she was screaming. Screaming like someone getting eaten alive by a shark.

My heart sunk into my stomach, I felt so bad for her. I'd be gone. Dead. I wouldn't suffer any longer. It was HER who they were "killing", by killing me. It was no fair. I wanted her to be in this position. How bizarre to think that, I thought to myself. But for real.....death only hurts the living! And I didn't want HER to hurt. I wanted it to be ME instead. I wanted her misery to be over. Just as mine would be any second.

And then I heard the click, when Jenna stopped screaming to reload her breath for more screaming.

My whole body jumped. My eyes flinched. And when I was still conscious and alive, my voice involuntarily yelled out, "Gaaaaaaaah!" It just came out of me. Out of the depths of my gut. Like a delayed scare scream.

More tears poured down my face. I was gagging on the taste of salt water by now. Jenna was screaming even louder. I thought she couldn't get louder, but she did. She was going crazy on the table. Her wrist was bleeding. Her ankle was bleeding. Her hair was soaked with tears and sweat. It was sticking to her face and neck everywhere.

The whole scene was chaos. I just wanted it to be over. I couldn't take it anymore.

I couldn't take it.

Another click!

This time, my involuntary scream was lower and shorter. But it still came.

And the salt in my mouth...the screaming in my ears.....

I couldn't take it anymore. I took one last glance at Jenna, and I closed my eyes tight, and leaned my head back to the wall and waited for the end.

BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!