A Skeleton in the closet

How to live when you don't know who you are?

"Good night, Captain 'Za, good night, Chocolate Boy, be nice with Granny!" I said, kissing them after having read Cars as they wanted to.

Regina was sitting down on the red couch, drinking a glass of red wine in silence. Obviously I was ill at ease because of our last discussion. I went to the dining room, in my red dress with make-up and jewels that JJ had bought and given to me.

"I didn't know that JJ asked you to keep an eye on our children ..." I said sadly to be forgiven by her.

"Don't worry, Mindy. I won't speak a word about that to JJ. So have a good night."

I had just enough time to be nice with Regina while JJ went back home, kissed his Mom and walked over to our bathroom. He washed up and changed his clothes to look sharp for our night out. As soon as he was prepared, we took his car and came to my favorite Italian restaurant Carpe Diem. This night, he was particularly awesome, though I noticed the rings under his brown eyes.

"I'm sorry that you had to pick our children up ..."

"I'm their parent too. I am responsible for them too. You know ... unlike your mother ..." he replied when we were stuck in a traffic jam.

I sadly smiled because I couldn't forget what I had learned about him and his family. He looked at me and quickly smiled too. But when he noticed that I wasn't in a good mood, he held my left hand to reassure me. As our four-wheel drive was stopping in this damn traffic jam, JJ kissed me and whispered me few words in my ear. Then he wanted to know the reason why I was keeping quiet and had this sad look. I had to confess the crimes I had committed in his room. Besides, he didn't know that I had come into his office and made a mess. So I had to admit that I had searched through in his papers. I was scared that he might react terribly but that wasn't the case. JJ seemed relieved and sighed. I've always known him to be like this; he tried to be funny, really funny, because I was persuaded that he was still hiding his sorrow as he used to do that with everybody. I must admit that I was laughing my fucking ass off because of his bad jokes and the even worse jokes that he had picked up from his colleagues.

At eight p.m., we reached Carpe Diem, my favorite Italian restaurant. So we got out of our car and we went into the restaurant and sat down at our favorite table, near the big window opposite Charlotte's main street. He opened the door and let me enter first because he was a stickler for chivalry. We had a very good time together and I didn't see the time pass during our night. Over the course of three hours, we ate and chatted together about lots of subjects like education, vacations, housing, and our children. Before going back home, we were arm-in-arm walking down the main street of Charlotte on a cold night. We walked among teenagers going out to the movies with their girlfriends and boyfriends. We kissed and then he gave me a new silver ring with a little diamond.

JJ was sleeping after we had made love during a horror movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. I couldn't sleep and so I chose to go to his office so that I might tidy his room. Then I turned on his laptop and continued my research into my family. I reckoned that I couldn't have a worse family than JJ's family. The same results appeared again and so I looked at each article on the internet. I spent two hours reading each of them. So then I typed two words: "website", "genealogy". Hundreds and thousands of websites about genealogy appeared. I consulted two among them and entered my last name in the search bar. Afterwards, I entered my full name with my birth year. "No results" said the website. I couldn't learn anything about my family by those sites. I went to bed next to JJ and snuggled up to him.

"Where did you go, Sweetie ..." he whispered because he was a bit woken up.

"I tidied your room, my Darling. And I had time to look for my identity in two genealogy sites. Two damn websites about genealogy ..."

"No results, my Darling. I don't know what I can do. I don't know what to do... I mean besides speaking to my mother about it..."

"If I were you, Sweetie, I would search on genealogy sites ... don't worry about names, maybe you'll find the right link on the first try ..."

"Or not ... I can waste a lot of time correcting things that I find...Do you have another idea from your magical hat, JJ? You're kind of a wizard, you know ..."

'I don't ... really ... know ...' he said, huddling together.

Having a serious talk with him is very hard when it's the middle of night. How could he tell me not to worry about my name and click the first link? Mindy Johnson is quite widespread but we might not be in the same family! Besides, one of their ancestors might have found cocoa? I don't want to appropriate somebody's past and somebody's life if I'm not related to this person. At this point, I'd say that he was a bad cop.