Why Is He Like This?

Fired

Blond Gay PoV

I have to hurry.
I have to be fast.
I have to save them.
I have to... be the hero.

My accursed blond hair fluttered in the wind as I mimicked my friend going in and out of houses. My left hand twitched as I locked on to his soul. This wasn't anything evil it's just a way to assure his safety. In the case he dies, he'll become a part of me, just like all the rest of them... except he'd be a part I'd protect at the cost of any other soul. I've thought like this since a certain incident, I doubt I'll be able to expand my trust circle for now. I'm not willing to use my soul magic for just anyone.

I'm still suffering from some mental side effects of my last... stunt? That was quite a few years ago and yet I remember it clearly. My family is truly complicated, which led me to assume most nobles don't care for such a thing as familial love. I've done what I could to soften up that brat of the Duke's family. He treated me terribly but I thought that was part of his charm, part of his defense. I suppose that was just his natural reaction to my own defense, my own sort of mask.

I like being friendly and all. Sometimes... no, most of the time it gets tiring. I've been told that my smiling face could light up the world. What if I don't want to do that, that day, or any other day? Would the world sink to darkness? Sink to hell, much like it seems to the people in the fires?

I looked into one man's eyes and I saw dispair. A child cried of fear, and a mother of sadness. I've felt the same as any of them at one point or another. It was never because I was in danger myself, it was when I saw others in danger and I couldn't do jack about it. Now I can but they're already gone.

Not dead, just... gone.

They left me, since I was too weak.

I was settled at Duke Mason's little corner. I supported him, even though he's quite ruthless. He's younger than me, for Pete's sake, his family might be more messed up than mine. We were on the way to the Capital when the fire thing happened...

I don't like being impulsive but it's in my nature... I still wish him well, there are many who want his head on a silver platter. I hope that the rest of the guards are just as capable without me.

Right now, Mason doesn't need me, these people need me.

I thought I finished... but the origin of the fire just happened to be the largest and tallest house in the village. The 4 buckets of water being passed had little effect on the fire; some of the villagers scattered to avoid falling debris. They were helpless... just like I used to be.
.
.
.
They all had black hair. Why did I have blonde hair?

I couldn't care less about their faces all I saw was their hair... is that how they also saw me?

I'm different. I'm disgusting. I'm a bastard.

They thought my hair would darken over time... but it didn't. Surrounding me with pitiful comments in their varying voices.

The poor child didn't have a choice to be born from such a scandal...

I was cast away to a villa in the country side with my mother. Mother also has black hair. Mother yells at me a lot but according to my new friend, Alex, she only does that because she loves me very much.

I work with mother on the fields and Alex will sometimes say 'hi'. After I'm done with the fields I can go play with Alex! After a few years Alex also had to work in the fields. Sometimes I'll help him so we can hang out sooner.

Eventually, I met Alex's family and I found out that Alex had a little sister. Er.. when I asked mother if I could have one too and she got really mad. She calmed down after I said I would cook and clean instead of her that week. However, I never learned how to cook, so she would watch me like a hawk and put a drop of the hot soup on my hand every time I did something wrong. Quite painful but I finally made a good meal. I made some for Alex too and he liked it so all is well.

Something went... wrong with mother since that day. She'd give me more work and more punishments. I thought I'd eventually get better since it takes awhile to get used to a new job to do. But everytime I do something else right, I do something else wrong. Alex says this is normal and I should listen to her. So, I did. Things got worse... after the 'punishments' I barely had the strength to do any of the chores right, less time to hang around with Alex and more time for punishments. Through all this...

I can do it.

I had to smack myself a million times to focus on my tasks. When I finally thought I did everything right, there was my mother with a sinister smile on her face and whip in hand. I weakly smiled back.

"Mo-mother... I've finished."

I collapsed after those words. Everything went black before she could give me another taste of that whip.

A/N: I'm sorry to leave you at this cliff but I have to go to a friends house and I want to update this ASAP considering how long it's been since I last updated.

See you next time lovelies~♡