Its a funny little thing, this feeling we render as comfortable.What is comfort without contentment? What is living without being alive?
Everyday we are stuck in the same routine, traveling down the current of raging river tearing apart the foundation of a stable mind and replacing all the i knows with the inevitable what if's. The smile fades from your youthful face as you struggle to keep yourself grounded to something that amounts to far more than yourself.
Living selfless in a selfish world surrounded by people taking advantage of accomplishment you've come to work for, and belittling every possession to little more than an arm rest in which they use to regain their fuel for another feud created in the unending contentment you've been so stripped of.
We live day by day, the average person living paycheck to paycheck as though every bit of energy is worth nothing more than a roof over their head. All work and no play makes us a vessel of dying passions, watching as every ounce of time falls through the burnt hands of a lover loving nothing more than his family.
A once strong man now meager at best fights to stay alive.But work has him stressed, after he wakes up he gets dressed and leaves in the morning light without a kiss goodbye. All day he forgets himself, lost in the ways of cooperate greed, slaving away he aspirations as the perspiration builds upon a furrowed brow.
All day he is gone, no break nor release from his torment, too tired to think and too beaten to breath he comes home to his wife and kisses her goodnight, his kids already in bed, he shakes his head as he falls out of conscious behavior into a monster as he breaks apart at the seams and unravels his anguish unto a mother of their children. He begins screaming and she begins thinking; she is so scared she pretends to sleep through his rage until he leaves her with nothing more than laceration, a feral scar beneath her skin as he vanished from the house.
Weeks pass, and the man has never returned. The wife wakes up to a husband now gone from her world. She moves by herself as she finds her composure holding the wedding ring finding her courage to get up alone again.
She moves down the hallway, to the room where his kids sleep. She knocks on the door, waiting patiently until she hears their reply ' Good morning mother, you look beautiful today!' She cracks the door to see they they crawl out of bed and run to hug her but instead they run to their television sets, suddenly the room turns grey as though engulfed in static. A sudden feeling of dread washes over her when she falls back into a barely breathing body. she wakes up, alone in a house meant to hold all of their love, but where is their love? It's going and its going and its gone oh yes their love is gone
Remembering her marriage, loving every memory of the days she spent with her kids and now she is so alone no one even knows the pain she feels as she reveals every scar she has ever been left with. every bruise and every scar from the man sworn to protect her oh how the tables have turned, the kids are no longer hers and at the end of her wits, she calls it for quits.
Walking into the kitchen to find paper and a pen she writes ' Dearly beloved, I cannot live like this another day, oh dearly beloved Don't you dare forget me oh DEARLY BELOVED IM SORRY I CANT BE MORE Oh I'm sorry to my babies and I'm sorry to my husband and I'm sorry for myself!' She signs the note with an x and an o, kissing it softly, setting it down on the counter. She is not alive today, she was forgotten in the wake of time.
A man, no longer himself,torn apart by the every day grind he so found himself trapped in. he struggled by the day living was a living memory of the aspirations he once clung to. but like his aspirations, the grievances of life hung over his head like a storm cloud drowning the sunset of its color. he never knew when he would be home and he never knew if he would ever be alone but he was certain he'd be the one to rob himself of his last breath. Every night, every street light was like a universe all it's own, burrowing its seemingly endless energy into his eyes. Making it home, he stands outside an empty house.. With a sigh of regret he forgets about his day and climbs through the doorway. crawling onto a couch by himself he reflected upon his life; and he saw the green trees swaying in the wind and felt the warm summer breeze as he faded from consciousness.
Slipping into a world only deemed for his mind. A land of serenity made stark by raw emotion, an ashen replica of his foresight; he struggled to not remember. His dreams were nothing but torture, building fear upon the smile of his wife now long passed. He saw her, the beauty of her arms as the wrapped around his neck, the sickly cold breath that licked his his face.. he looked up, not wanting anything more than to say "I love you, my dear.. and I am sorry I was never more than meager child." She stared back, not a twitch of the lips as her face began to change; her gentle eyes melting into sockets large enough to tear away the bravery and leave him gasping for air. The hands of the plagued thought touched his face as she whispered "Dearly beloved, you will never forget me." he screamed as he awoke, certainly shaken to the core and he just can not take it anymore. He arose from where he lay, stumbling into the bathroom, fumbling with the sink knowing he will be dead soon.. and he looked up, into a mirror and saw what he couldn't bear - himself. He struck out at the monster before him, showering himself in glass he screamed "I'M SO SORRY!"
and he ran the shard of forgiveness across his throat, looked himself in the eye one last time.. he died.
