Through, Together (A Romanogers Fanfiction)

Such Sweet Sorrow

One week passed. Seven days. It seemed like forever and yet just a moment. By now, the world had heard of the heroes who had saved them. They wanted to pay their respects, but it hardly seemed possible to invite them all to the funerals, memorials, and sigils that were held for those who were lost. Besides, the world was plenty occupied with trying to piece itself back together again. Being gone for five years and suddenly returning to a world that had kept spinning without you was a lot to take in.  Still, they paid tribute in their own way. Photos and videos of those tributes went viral. There were paintings and signs put up on buildings and street corners all over the world. There were totems of candles and flowers, signs and stuffed animals, put up in honor of the fallen heroes. It would never be enough, but it was a good reminder of what those heroes were fighting for. It was bittersweet, to know that their sacrifices had not been in vain.

There was a joint service at Tony's cabin for both Tony and Clint. It seemed wrong, to not honor Clint, now that his family was back. Of course, it was just as painful as the first service they'd held for him. Natasha's pain was only intensified by seeing the pain of Clint's wife and children. She still struggled with the fact that it had been Clint, and not herself, that went over that cliff in Vormir. She still thought that things were supposed to be the other way. She still struggled, and yet... the tiny flutter in her stomach reminded her. She was here for a reason. Maybe Clint had hoped for that reason when he made the sacrifice that he made. Natasha would never know.

She hadn't told anyone, not even Steve, about her reinstated pregnancy. It seemed disrespectful, while they were all still mourning, to bring it up. She told herself that she would hold onto it for a little while longer, make sure that it seemed things were going okay, and then she would tell him. In the meantime, she'd devoted all her attention to making sure Laura and the kids were okay, as well as doing whatever she could to help with preparations for the funeral. It helped, in a way, to stay busy. To devote her energy toward something productive, something good, rather than the seemingly endless onslaught of tears that had come at the beginning.

Tony's death had quieted an entire battlefield. Hundreds of heroes had lowered their guns and swords and watched, heartbroken, as Tony's body was lifted from the ground. It had been Steve who stepped forward to do the duty. No one had protested. Steve had been the first one to rush to Tony when he stepped off that spaceship all those years ago, after all. They'd all watched, silent, as Captain America knelt down and scooped Tony into his arms. His weight must have been minimal to Steve's enhanced strength, yet Natasha had been able to see the impossible burden that settled upon those broad shoulders. She'd watched the tears fall from his blue eyes and leave streaks down his dirt-covered cheeks as he carried Tony away from the wreckage and ruin.

The days following that had been some of the quietest days Natasha had ever seen.  There were no words to describe what happened that day.  There was no way to properly describe the full scope of the battle that had waged, and the sacrifices that had been made.  They'd accomplished their goal.  Not only had they brought everyone back, but they'd gotten rid of Thanos and his army, for good, in the process.  Yet... at what cost had it come?  Pepper lost her husband.  Peter lost his mentor.  Morgan lost her father.  And so, so many people had lost their friend.  Because that's what Tony had been to so many.  He'd been their leader, but he'd also been their friend.  Natasha and Steve both mourned him over those seven days.

Some of those tears were back now. Natasha stood beside Steve, hand gripped tightly in his, on the gently sloping hillside that led from the cabin down to the lake. They had made a small float, outfitted with flowers and the first reactor that Tony had ever worn.  The words inscribed on the reactor's casing would never be forgotten:  

Proof That Tony Stark Has A Heart. 

 It seemed like a lifetime ago, two lifetimes, really. It had been the thing that kept Tony alive for months. Now, Pepper was standing on the dock and gently settling it into the water. The wind floated it out into the lake, while everyone watched in silent respect.