recollection | ✓

ii.

"your sister didn't make the wrong decision, there's no such thing, she's just on her way to self-discovery and who am i to stop her? if it's destined to be then we'll find our way back to each other."

sobs echoed inside the old jeep, sadness hung heavy around them, and lisa's heart was breaking again. she had no idea how to console ella, she could not promise the girl anything because there was no assurance that jennie would come back to her arms, make it all right again, there was only the possibility of that. there had been enough empty promises that had been made and that was the last thing lisa wanted to give to ella, another thing that would break the younger girl's heart and give up on love. she was not about to plant a seed of fear into her.

so she pulled over and unbuckled her seatbelt, engulfed ella in her arms and soothed her back. "why does she have to do it, why does she have make it so difficult, i'm just so sad—so sad it's like, i hate seeing you both like this!?" she sniffled, "is it really that serious, is it really that difficult?"

lisa cupped ella's cheeks and looked into her eyes, "look, kiddo, there's always a rainbow after the storm."

"but lisa-unnie, jen-unnie is lost, and i miss her."

"she'll find her way back, have faith on your unnie."

•

they sat on their favorite booth in their favorite diner, there was an awful silence between them, a palpable awkwardness that pushed on them. it had been six months since she left, now jennie was back for winter break, to be with her family and hopefully lisa.

her eyes were gleaming with hope, but lisa was oblivious to that. she was too busy sipping on her milkshake and drumming her fingers along the table.

"so..."

"yeah, what's up?"

"nothing, lis, i just wanted to see you."

surprise colored lalisa's face, her eyebrows shoot up and she almost choked on her milkshake. she thought goodbye meant 'i don't want to do anything with you anymore', not 'i still want to see you again.'

she had no idea what people who broke up do anyway. she only had a vague idea that some kept in touch and maintain an amiable relationship, while there were also circumstances in which exes drown themselves in bitterness and anger.

lisa had no idea which place she belonged to. she hadn't really thought of how she actually felt about the break-up.

"damn, i s'pose you miss my annoying ass, huh?"

"of course, no one's really as annoying as you in L.A. they are all boring snobs."

"liar, i know you have friends there. aren't you dating someone now—kai, right?" she wiggled her eye brows towards jennie's way.

"oh that only lasted for three—"

"months?"

"no, weeks. three weeks."

"oof, are my fingers longer?"

"junior's longer and thicker..." in which jennie preferred to the object that was somewhat vital to their sexual endeavors.

it sent lisa, she broke into laughter and jennie grinned up at her, her gums showing quite adorably. she missed this. lisa missed seeing that smile.

"it's not that really...i mean, it's one of the reasons—"

"how many reasons are there?"

"well the most important one is i'm just not ready for any relationships right now. focus on my solidarity."

"i mean, your fingers do work its wonder." she winked, and this time jennie turned red from laughter but also embarrassment. "you'd be fine alone,"

"gosh golly, lis, why can't you stop with the innuendos?"

lisa then put her hands against her waists and began to mock jennie.

"stop, that's not even how i speak!"

"that's not even how i speak!" lisa mocked her kiwi accent.

"lalisa!"

"jennifer!"

she pouted and crossed her arms against each other, and there went the baby voice, "baby, please stop that."

baby? lisa let that pass, she didn't want to make this whole thing awkward again, for all she knew this was the last time they were going to have a good time, so she raised her arms in defeat and tried to calm down her laughter.

"okay, that's a good girl, before i forget. i got you something." jennie took two small boxes from her bag and then she handed the other one to lisa. "merry christmas!"

"fuck, i don't have my gift for you with me."

"that's okay, you can give it to me another time. drop by for lunch tomorrow?"

"oh, you're already asking me out for our second date?" she joked.

jennie gave her a gummy smile and nodded vigorously like an eager child, "but open it!"

so she did, it was a beaded bracelet, it was white beads and one black bead. lisa looked up at jennie and jennie showed her the matching bracelet, it was black beads and among them is a white one.

god, ruby jane, you're one confusing girl.

"i love it." lisa wore it.

"you better," the gummy smile didn't even leave jennie for the rest of the night.

little did lisa know that was the last time jennie was going to be ever genuinely happy.

— // —

note:
in which ella gross is ella kim.
(and also, i have no idea what are the names of jennie and lisa's parents, i could search it but i rather make up their names in this fic.) ✌🏽