Black Roses

Nothing Wrong

When I opened my eyes, all four friends were starting at me, worry in their eyes. They released a simultaneous sigh of relief when I offered them a watery smile.

No one but Seamus and I knew what had happened, and even he was probably confused. After all, all he had done was try to kiss his girlfriend - was that such a crime?

No, I thought. No. He did nothing wrong.

But I could hardly just wander over and chat to him, could I? Not when so much had already gone so badly.

My emotions must have shown on my face because everyone began to look worried again. I silently willed somebody, anybody, to speak.

Someone did.

"Hello, everyone," a vacant, whimsical voice said from behind me.

"Hey, Luna," said Ginny, grateful for the distraction. "Sit down."

She shuffled up towards Harry and gestured to the empty space, but Luna declined with a dreamy wave of her hand.

"Oh no," she fluted. "I'm fine. But I was just talking to Parvati and -"

Hermione snorted.

Ignoring the interruption, Luna continued. "Well, Parvati thought you'd go and speak to Seamus, but Lavender said that you wouldn't, and now they're squabbling, which is really rather annoying, so I thought I'd ask you what you were going to do, since, well, you're probably the best authority on the subject."

She smiled mystically, as if caught up in a particularly lovely daydream. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ginny open her mouth to speak.

Something in me prompted the stupidest response of my life, that, if left unsaid, probably would have prevented a lot of trouble, but the sarcastic, impish voice that lurked not too far beneath the surface of my personality had to have a say.

"Parvati's right."

"What?" Both Ron and Hermione choked this time. Ginny was more discreet, but still shocked. I tried to read Harry's expression, but his face was blank.

"I'm going to speak to him," I said, matter-of-factly. "I am going to speak to him right now."

And I stood up and left, with four stunned friends behind me and a completely unsurprised Luna who immediately trotted back to where the arguing Parvati and Lavender were seated.

Every step I took towards Seamus was harder than the last. My legs felt like lead, and the air seemed thicker than treacle. Heads were turning and conversations dying down. No one wanted to miss the drama. I even spotted a pint-sized first year pointing obviously at me, only to be shushed and dragged out of sight by his more discreet friends.

At last, I was only one step away from Seamus. He was sat next to Dean, who had a black eye, but was clearly still supporting his best friend. Their conversation was stilted and fake. Both knew that I was stood there. Neither wanted me to know that, too.

Seamus himself was staring fixedly into a half empty glass of pumpkin juice. He answered Dean's feeble attempts at conversation, with dull, monosyllabic answers.

But even in this state, I couldn't help but notice his striking looks and kind eyes - even if he was tired and angry and had spent half the night throwing remembralls at Harry and punching Dean in the eye.

After an awkward minute, I cleared my throat. Dean looked up, pretending to notice me for the first time.

"Oh, Morwenna. I didn't see you there."

I flinched, the automatic reaction I gave whenever someone used my real name. Dean was just rubbing salt into the wound.

"Hello Dean."

I couldn't really think of anything else to say, and neither could Dean, so I just sort of stood there dumbly as he fiddled with his empty plate. I could feel many eyes resting on my back.

"Nice day today," I attempted, pointing at the ceiling. "Nice and - er - sunny..."

Seamus looked up and I trailed off. He had huge bags under his red eyes. I couldn't tell if he'd been crying or not, but he definitely hadn't slept. Dean shifted in his seat, just like Hermione had done earlier. It was clearly the day for making innocent bystanders feel insecure.

I cleared my throat again, and licked my dry lips. I was searching for the right words to say, but it was so hard, with Seamus just looking at me, his face unreadable.

"Look, Seamus, I - I don't know what to say."

Silence.

"About, you know, what happened with..."

Silence.

"And I want you to know that - WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Heads really did turn this time.

Seamus had just got up to leave, but he stopped and looked at me. He surely saw how angry I was, yet... yet it didn't seem to bother him. He looked at me, challenging me.

Embarrassed by my outburst, I tried to control my raging emotions. "I just want to say I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. Or can you not deal with that kind of pressure?"

I couldn't help but sneer at the end. Seamus infuriated me. He was still looking at me, his eyes meeting my own until, ashamed, I had to look away.

"I forgive you."

"I'm sorry?"

"I forgive you. It's fine."

He left, and Dean followed him soon after.

But I could tell that he most definitely was not fine.