Young

Prologue

The insignificance of raindrops was surprisingly peaceful. I never really appreciated the rain, but now I embraced it. Gloomy weather seemed to match the somber thoughts in my mind, however. But I still found it calming all the same.

The day we found Leo swaying in his closet, the sun was shining and the sky was stark blue. Not a cloud in sight. But it was cold. A freezing day in January. And the wind came in powerful gusts.

There I stood amongst my family, all of us gathered around my brother's freshly covered grave. I was whisked away from reality. The world was like a blur. Spinning. Yet moving in slow motion at the same time.

I finished out the school year at my old high school, which was absolute torture. Seeing flyers and photos of my deceased brother plastered on lockers and in the halls of my school cast an eerie feeling around the campus. Some days, I couldn't take it, so I would stay home to sob underneath the covers of my bed. I eventually missed too many days of school to where I couldn't afford to skip, so I stayed in the girl's bathroom during the assembly, of which was really a ceremony for the students in remembrance of Leo. I was so glad when the school year ended.

But by the time summer arrived, my dad had a surprise for my little sister and I. He told us that we were moving an hour away to Colorado Springs, to be closer to my Aunt Gabbie. She lived alone in the city while disabled with a liver disease. I loved Aunt Gabbie and agreed she needed to be taken care of.

But I was still in a severely weakened state. I was not prepared to be stripped away from everything - and everyone - I knew. I had to leave my boyfriend and best friend behind.

Michael and Rachel were my only friends. My life. They were there for me in every situation, even in the situation with Leo. But after hearing the news that my family and I were moving away, they became...distant, to put it kindly. Conversations with Michael became forced and awkward. Rachel and I talked less and less each day. Eventually, the three of us just...disconnected. Michael and I didn't even have a proper breakup, if breakups ever can be proper. When I left town, it was with a heavy heart that I left without saying a single goodbye. However sad I may have been, I was not resentful towards my dad for having us up and leave at such short notice.

Elizabeth, my little sister who was scared of our Aunt Gabbie, was mortified at the fact that we were going to be living two houses down from her. She sobbed during the whole drive to Colorado Springs. My dad was crying the entire time, too. But not for that reason. We were all mourning the loss of Leo, but I seemed to be handling it the best.

When we officially moved into our new home, I didn't realize the change I was enduring. With Leo gone and having just arrived in a new place to live, I was no longer my old self.

The Madeleine who was always cracking jokes with boys and flipping her long brown hair over her shoulder, the Madeleine who never missed out on a good time, the Madeleine with twinkling eyes who was too outgoing for her own good, was gone. I cut my hair. Lost weight. Replaced my once colorful wardrobe with black and gray. This was the new Madeleine.

Now, I was sitting on the front porch steps, just watching the rain drip from the rooftop. Sitting there contemplating everything that had happened, I realized that it was now seven months after Leo's suicide. August was here, and that meant the start of a new school year.

But this wasn't my old school. Now, I was enrolled at Crossroads High School.

And my first day was tomorrow.