but you'll feel better when you wake up | imallexx

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"Just- er- got... ill." Alex mumbled out, breaking eye contact with James to stare down at the floor in shame.

"Is that right?" James questioned, his voice still implying he didn't believe Alex. Alex had no other choice but to stick with his story, so he just nodded in response to James.

"Yeah." Alex mumbled out, quietly.

"You know I'm quite a bit taller than these doors, right? Alex, love, I could see you." James informed Alex, his tone going soft at the end part. Alex didn't reply to that, just kept staring at the floor with his heart in his throat and overall unable to form words. His mind was just chanting a mantra of how stupid he was and that he was done for.

"Look at me, Alex." James gently demanding, using his index finger to guide Alex's head to face his own. Alex's eyes were wide and brimmed with tears, face flushed over impossibly pale skin. "Have you been making yourself throw up? Yes or no." James told Alex who looked like he was a centimeter away from breaking down.

"No." Alex pathetically insisted. It was then that he knew he'd lost; he'd been found out and now everything was going to be ruined.

"Have you not seen yourself? Alex, it's pretty fucking obvious there's something wrong." James replied passive aggressively. Alex didn't say anything, just chewed on his bottom lip and once again looked away from James to stare at the floor, defeated.

"It's fine." Alex pleaded pathetically, not even believing himself at this point.

"Fuck's sake, I don't mean to get mad, but just look at the state of you!" James argued back. "Look, you've got two hoodies on and it's like 21 degrees out there. None of the others are even wearing hoodies. And-" James pauses, running his fingers through Alex's hair and showing Alex the large amount of hair that just fell out into his hand. "-yeah, your hair's falling out as well." James finished. Both men just stood in silence while Alex fought back tears and kept intense eye contact with the floor.

"Look, Alex, I used to have an eating disorder. Some of my best mates have had eating disorders, I know what they look like and I know what happens. I don't know how long this has been going on for but I know you don't deserve to go through this at all. You can get through this, okay?" James went from crouching down to squatting, like a mother giving her child advice, and held Alex's hands in his, keeping eye contact that Alex would break every so often.

"I don't- I'm not ill." Alex pleaded and it was just shared knowledge that neither of them believed that, yet, Alex still felt as though if he kept saying it that it would somehow magically come true.

"No, Alex, love, listen to me, yeah? You are ill. We'll talk more later but you've been gone for nearly 15 minutes now so we should go back." James said.

"You aren't gonna tell the others are you?" Alex asked, suddenly feeling a bit more worried, somehow, than he had been previously.

"I'm doing what's best for you right now." James replied with a sigh, standing back up so that Alex had to look up at him again.

"What's that mean?" Alex asked, distressed.

"It means exactly what I said. Oh, and you're sleeping over at mine and Fraser's tonight." James informed, already making his way out of the bathroom with Alex following close behind. Alex didn't question James further, just silently walked with the man.

Upon arriving back at the table the two men were both bombarded with questions about why they were taking so long, to which they both just brushed off. After splitting the bill, they'd all gathered outside the front doors of the restaurant for a few minutes to chat for a moment before all going their separate ways.