Dylan O'Brien Imagines

Too Much Part 3-Mitch Rapp

"I umm. . . I was just. . . I thought maybe. . ."

"Rapp," I said, cutting off his rambling. "Do you want to come in and talk?"

He just nodded as I stepped aside. He scratched the back of his neck as he walked in. I closed the door and turned around to see him awkwardly standing in the middle of my room, his hands in his pockets.

He turned towards me, his eyes instantly meeting mine. "You can sit down if you want," I offered, nodding towards the couch that was against the back wall of my room. He nodded awkwardly as he hesitated before sitting down.

I sat next to him, leaving enough space to make him comfortable as I waited for him to start talking. I watched as he repeatedly wiped his hands on his jeans. My gaze softened when I noticed his hands were shaking.

"It happened my senior year of high school," I started. He looked up at me, his eyes filled with confusion. I cleared my throat, gathering the courage to tell the story I haven't told in years.

"Well, technically it started after my mom remarried the summer before I started high school. The second she brought him home to meet me, I knew he wasn't a good guy. There were signs, but of course my mom didn't see them. He didn't let her see who he really was."

"Who was he really?" Rapp asked softly.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes, there were tears fighting to fall.

"He was abusive," I said my voice breaking. "He was a drunken asshole who hated me. When my mom wasn't around, he would talk down to me, throw things at me, hit me, basically treat me like shit. He did that for three years before he. . ."

"Before he what?"

I finally looked up at Rapp, him watching me with soft eyes. I opened and closed my mouth, unable to verbally admit to what Anthony used to do to me. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to mentally prepare for what was about to come out of my mouth.

"Before he started to rape me every night at 2 am."

I watched as Rapp's eyes widened at my confession. Realization instantly flashed across his face.

"That's what you meant when you said you knew why you were awake at 2 am when I ran into you in the kitchen," he said slowly. "You wake up every night at that time because. . ."

"Because my body naturally wakes up, ready to be raped," I finished for him.

"Y/N," he said, his voice barely coming out a whisper.

"I'm not done," I said, shaking my head. After staring at each other for a few silent seconds, I broke our eye contact and looked down at my hands.

"I know I should have said something, but I was too scared. I didn't think anyone would believe me. So, I just took it. He'd do what he wanted and once he left, I'd curl into a ball and cry myself back to sleep. I had to secretly put myself on birth control because he never used protection."

I clenched my hands into fists, tears officially streaming down my cheeks. "I couldn't take it anymore," I said, my voice breaking. "My mom was never around, my step-dad abused and raped me. I couldn't. . . I couldn't take it anymore. So, I ran. The summer after I graduated high school, I got the hell out of there. I packed a bag of clothes, stole my step-dad's wallet, took my car and drove off. I left a lot behind, basically anything they could use to track me. Clearly, they never found me. I don't know how long, or if they even did look for me. Either way, I never looked back. I've never even contacted my mom. Three months later, I was in Europe at a bar. I was trying to head back to my apartment when two guys grabbed me. They pulled me into the alley and. . ."

I cleared my throat when I heard my voice crack. I opened and closed my fists when I noticed how badly my hands were shaking.

"They tried to. . . Before they could, someone ripped them off of me. I remember sliding down the wall, tucking my knees into my chest and sobbing as all I could hear were the sounds of men fighting. When the fighting finally stopped, Stan Hurley was standing over me. He gently reached towards me, hesitating when he saw me flinch. He promised that he wasn't going to hurt me. In fact, he promised that he could take me somewhere safe and train me so no man would ever take advantage of me again."

"That's why you're here," Rapp said softly. "So you can fight off any guy who tries to. . ."

I nodded when he didn't finish his thought. "That's why I'm a hardass, as the men put it ever so delicately," I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "I fight to keep myself from feeling weak. I fight to ensure I'll never be treated like how my step-father and those men treated me. I fight to survive."

The only sound that could be heard were the crickets outside. I closed my eyes, taking small deep breaths to force myself back into my assassin facade.

"My fiancé was killed during a terrorist attack minutes after I proposed to her," Rapp said, barely audible.

I looked over to see him looking at his hands, his fingers intertwined. I reached over and put my hand on top of his fists when he struggled to continue.

"I tried to get to her," he said, his voice breaking. "But, I was too late. He. . . He shot her right in front of me. I can still hear her calling out my name, the fear in her voice, the gunshot that did it. What I really can't forget is the look on the man's face when he spared my life. I'll never unsee his smirk as he walked away, knowing what he had done was worse than killing me."

He was silent for a few seconds before whispering, "Sometimes I wished he had finished me off."

"Rapp," I said gently. "You can't think like that."

"How the hell am I supposed to think, Y/N?" He yelled, his eyes instantly meeting mine as I slowly pulled my hand away from his. The anger in his eyes went away seconds after it appeared.

"He didn't shoot you, giving you the chance to get away," I started, my voice soft. "To you, that's seen as leaving you alive to make you suffer. To me? I see it as giving you a second chance at life. Sure, it would have been easier if he killed you. But guess what Rapp. Life isn't meant to be easy. Right as things seem great, it turns around and bites you in the ass. Our job is to stand up and bite it back."

"Easier said than down," he scoffed, looking away from me.

"Not with Orion." I said simply, making him look back at me.

"You can't give up, Mitch." His eyes widened when I said his first name for the first time. "I won't let you. I am not going to let you roll over and let Life kick your ass. I am going to make sure you fight back. Even if I have to drag you myself."

I gasped when Rapp cut me off, pressing his lips to mine.

Part 4 Coming Soon