Family Problems (Boyxboy+mpreg)

Part 34

"Cole William Carter." I shook my head and pulled the blanket closer around me. "Hey. I'm not going to yell and scream or anything. I'm so happy you told me this and I swear we will work through this together and you will find peace with everything. These babies are our life, our world. We need to be here for them and we need to be 100%. We will get you some help, whatever it is you need we can do this. I will be here for you, every step of the way." He slowly pulled the blanket back and one look in his eyes I knew he meant every word. "And when you feel ready again we will take our babies back." I jumped up and in his arms, he held me so close I cried some more and he just held me tight and shushed me.

"I don't deserve you."

"Don't say that. You deserve everything. But I need you to understand something for right now Cole." He pulled back and wiped under my eyes. "We need this time to heal, I'm here. I will always be here and I swear to god I will help as much as I can."

"But?" I pulled away from him and curled in on myself again.

"But... we can't be together. Not romantically. Not right now at least. For our own good and for the babies, we need to be just friends, supporting each other and being here for each other but just as friends." I'm not going to lie, it did suck hearing that but it made sense to me.

"I understand. I'm not going to lie, it does hurt to hear that but we weren't okay being together the past couple weeks so a break will be good to figuring everything out." I couldn't freak out I had to be rational here. Dad's in labor and a screaming match will just stress him out.

"Will!" Well he didn't get the memo about the screaming. Aide came in the room then and started pacing.

"What's wrong Aide?" I got up and sat on the edge of my bed and Trav moved to the chair again.

"Dad's left to the hospital with Grandpa and granda Dave, grandma Jade. And Dad told Dad that he didn't want us there. We were there for all the other ones and he didn't want us there this time and I wanted to be there. I love everyone of our siblings and we are basically their parents too and I hate that we are going to miss this one and it's our last sibling." Aww. Poor Aide. I mean I don't mind either way but he's more the fatherly type then- oh my god. I'm a horrible parent.

"Aide I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you were there. I mean I can help with the kids." Travis said seeing me just completely space out. They talked for a bit and then Aide came over to me and hugged me and kissed the top of my head before leaving and closing the door behind him.

"Cole?" I really am just the worst person. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I feel what everyone else does. Why am I like this? What happened? "Hey, you okay?" I mean I knew things would be different but I didn't think this would happen. Before everything I was just some kid that blended into the background and I was fine with that. I was the fatherly one to our younger siblings. I did well in school, I tried my best and I wanted to finish school and go to college. I met Travis and he is such an amazing guy, then I let my peers pressure me into doing stuff and shit went down from there. Now I have two kids and I can't even take care of them because I feel so lost and just not here.

"Cole William Carter. Hey. Answer me, please. Are you okay?" He was in front of me now and he had his hands on my knees. "There you are. Are you okay?" I shook my head and I started crying again. He sighed and got up to sit beside me and put his arms around me to pull me into his side. "What happened? What were you thinking you were so spaced out just then."

"Aiden is such a dad. I am a dad and I can't even be half of what he is right now. I have two beautiful babies and I know I love them but Travis... I can't feel it. I don't feel it. I want to so bad but it's not there. I feel like a monster. Like I shouldn't even be here ruining everything being the way I am."