The Struggles Of Waiting ✔

NINETEEN

He moved to stand and head into the kitchen when Jaden cleared his throat. "Come down here," he said and sighed. "Give me a week and I'll be able to pull you down myself." Alex smiled at him and leaned down to press a chaste kiss to his lips. "Maybe other things too," Jaden said when he pulled away.

"Is that all you can think about?" Alexander asked, shaking his head. Jaden grinned at him and Alex couldn't help but smile back. Even when things were tough, Jaden always brought a smile to his face.

"Can you blame me?" Jaden said. "It's been ages." Alexander rolled his eyes but said nothing. He agreed with him, but he wasn't going to say so. It was much more entertaining to let the man sit and stew.

He wandered into the kitchen, where a large pot of soup sat boiling on the stove. It was the easiest thing to cook. He could leave it boil while he looked after Jaden. They'd eaten far too much of it over the past few weeks, but it was better than fast food and delivery. He served the steaming soup into a bowl and sat it on Jaden's tray table.

He left the rest in the pot for later, when he would finally get a chance to eat. Feeding Jaden came first every night. It took forever the first couple of weeks until they learned to cooperate and Jaden was able to use his hands a little more. It was always messy, but wasn't as degrading as it had once been. For the most part, Jaden was able to feed himself, but Alex stayed close by just in case.

One more week and he would have the casts off. Then it would be months of physical therapy to make sure everything was working as it should. The casts would be off but that wouldn't mean Alex could slack off when it came to looking after him. If anything, he had to be better. Jaden would be stressed and tired constantly, Alex had to be there for him.

"I'm sorry," Jaden whispered when he grabbed the spoon with a shaky hand.

Alexander frowned at him. "For what?" he asked. He trailed his fingers down Jaden's arm gently.

"For all of this," Jaden said, gesturing with his cast covered arm. "You shouldn't have to look after me like this. We were meant to be happy. You've waited so long. I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy." A lie and the truth all in one.

"You don't look it." Jaden's voice was so quiet and Alex wanted to do was reach out and pull him tight. "You still look so sad, especially when we have to do stuff like this." He pushed the tray table away from him with a shake of his head. They'd had to conversation a few times over the last months but he'd never been honest. Maybe he should have been. His lies hadn't done him well in the past. He opened his mouth to speak again when Jaden's voice echoed around his living room. "I didn't mean for this to happen. We were meant to be happy."

Alex grabbed his hand. "We are happy," he said. And they were, sometimes. When they sat on the couch and watched movies and made jokes. Jaden's laugh made him laugh, made him happy.

"Not all the time. Not enough for it to count towards anything. You still look as sad as ever," Jaden said. There were tears in his eyes, something Alex had only seen on a rare occasion, when Jaden was stressed out about the circumstances.

He pulled him against his chest and wrapped his arms around him. "I will always be sad," he said. He thought back to his promise to Philip, what felt like centuries ago. "It's not something that will go away with a click of my fingers. I will always have those memories and experiences. I lost people. It will always be with me, but I will get better. We just need to get through this." He hadn't expected the words when they spilled from his lips. He thought he would have been harsher like he usually was when he was upset, but his voice was gentle, caring.

Jaden sighed. "One more week and you hopefully won't need to look after me anymore," he muttered against Alex's shoulder.

"I will always look after you," Alex said.

"And I, you," Jaden replied in an instant. "As much as I can anyway. I just want you to be happy."

Alex smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I am," he whispered. "I love you."

Jaden pulled back to stare at him with wide eyes. His cheeks were red and his teeth were chewing on his bottom lip. "You do?" he asked. Alex nodded. They'd never said it before and Alex hadn't even realised he'd been feeling it until the words spilled from his lips. Despite everything, he did love him. He just needed to learn how to deal with it all. "I love you too."

"We'll get through this. One more week then your casts come off and we'll deal with everything that comes after that," Alex said, pulling his soulmate back to him.

"And then the Ceremony."

"Yeah, then the Ceremony." They were going to wait until Jaden was completely healed before they went through with it. Jaden didn't want to hobble down the aisle in casts and pain. But it would be a long while before then, and it made Alex nervous about their health. They could be injured now, he didn't want one of them to die before their Ceremony, but he knew part of it was just his paranoia.

Jaden sighed and tapped at the edge of the tray table. "I think I could go for some food now," he said and lifted himself away from Alex. They would be okay, they had to be, it would just take some time. Jaden was injured and Alex was still dealing with decades worth of depression, but eventually, they would be okay.