Chapter 4

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     Another thing I dreaded was passing through our school's gate. Even from afar, even when there were many students passing by, I could see her standing patiently by the gate, looking for someone. I breathe in and out trying to keep my composure. I continued walking and held on the straps of my bag tightly.

     Then she saw me.

     "Wonyoung! Wonyoung! Heyyy!" She waved her hands in my direction and continued calling for me even when I was still far. But, although it was painful to do this, I pretended not to hear anything. Even when I passed by her, and our shoulders brushed each other, I didn't look at her.

     "Wonyoung, why are you doing this? Please tell me. Wonyoung, Wonyoungie. Please. Please. Please!" I heard her pleading. I heard her voice gradually fade away as I started walking away, not even giving her a single glance. Tears started falling from my eyes, hearing her continuously calling for my name.

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     Right now, as I laid, I felt the flowers on my bed. I could see flowers everywhere. They were sprawled all around my room. My chest, throat and mouth were burning from too much coughing and throwing up.

     "We don't have to be ordinary, make your best mistakes..."

     Other than the flowers bothering me, I heard my phone ringing endlessly. I knew who it was but I refrained from getting my phone. Falling for her words and voice even more were the last things I needed right now.

     To stop her from bothering me, I finally took my phone from my table and shut down my phone, hoping stopping her feelings were as easy as that. She went to sleep, the person she's been avoiding not leaving her mind even once.

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     I was too sad to focus on school, I decided to go to our usual spot during our third class instead. My mind was way too preoccupied for me to notice someone walking behind me in the hallway.

     I was shocked when someone suddenly stopped me from walking by holding both of my shoulders and making me face her.

     I saw her face. I was mad at myself for making her like that. Her eyes were red and puffy.

     "Wonyoung, why? Why are you suddenly avoiding me? Please tell me. Am I not your friend anymore?" she said while both her hands were still on top of my shoulders. I could tell she was trying very hard not to cry but I kept a straight face.

     "What do you mean? Yes we're friends but I'm not required to spend all of time with you, am I?", I tried very hard to make my voice stable and keep a straight face.

     "Wh- what's with you? Why are you talking like that? Did I do something wrong? Tell me. Tell me please. Punch me or whatever. Punish me or whatever, just don't treat me like this, like I'm a nobody." I saw her eyes getting watery and her voice was shaky. But I didn't say anything.

     She looked at me and removed her hands from my shoulders. Instead, she hugged me tightly and she cried.

     "Wonyoung-ah, stop this please. Just tell me what's wrong. I miss you. I miss you very much." I could feel the tears on my blouse and her hugging getting tighter as she continued to cry and plead.

     I wanted to cry too and hug her back but I felt the flowers on my chest again, burning intensely, my breath was becoming ragged. My face was getting redder as I tried to hide all the pain. I didn't want her to figure it out.

     I pushed her, way harder than I expected. She fell on the floor and looked at me with a torn expression.

     "Why?", she said as her tears continued to fall.

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