Calories

Chapter 1-'too fat'

I decided to write a story. I don't really have much to say. Enjoy I guess, or not...

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February 18, 2019

Life was so easy as a child. I had friends, self-confidence, I was happy. I don't know what changed. Maybe it was me, maybe it was them. They started making comments and poking fun at me and my weight. Anything they didn't like? Make fun of it. I took it as playful teasing at first, but then it took a turn for the worse. They were mocking me. They got the whole school in on it. I was shoved, hit, yelled at, and burned. I still remember the day where they brought me out back and set me on fire. I remember them dragging me by my hair while I was begging for help. People saw them, teachers saw them, but no one did anything. I remember them throwing me into the wall and laughing while I cried. I remember one of them pulling out a lighter while someone else threw gasoline on me. I remember the excruciating pain I felt as the fire burned my skin off. Eventually, they called 911 after putting me out, but I had passed out by then.

None of the police or hospital staff knew who did it. They were told it was a suicide, and they never asked me about it. So I continued with my life. I had scars as well as therapy for it. The therapist didn't care about me and only wanted the paycheck, so it was really an hour of me sitting in a room. The insults and mockery continued. Eventually, I broke. I couldn't handle being insulted every day, and I believed them. They say I'm fat? I'm fat. They say I'm ugly? I'm ugly. They say I should burn in hell? I should burn in hell. I wanted to make it better, so I started a diet. I limited myself to 1500 calories. I ate healthier. I worked out. None of it was working, all I saw in the mirror was a disgusting amount of fat. I wore baggy clothes so that no one could see how overly fat I was. I wanted change. I ate less than 1000 calories a day. I skipped meals, and only ate things considered to be healthy. Instead of running 1 mile, I ran 4 miles. I pushed myself until I couldn't move. But nothing changed.

The number on the scale was going down, but I just felt fatter and fatter. So I stopped. I stopped eating. I made excuses, hid food, threw it out. I had one eating day a week, and even on that day, I could eat no more than 500 cal. I went from 135.6 lbs to 67.8 lbs and I was so proud of myself. I ended up actually made a friend! It was slightly odd at first because I didn't think anyone would ever want to be my friend. Her name was Evangeline. She was amazing. Her hair was slightly wavy, ginger, and fell to her mid-back. She had an amazing figure, deep green eyes that would sparkle and light up when she was talking about something she loved, a light cheery voice, plump rosy lips,  and fair skin splattered with freckles. But it wasn't just her looks, it was also her personality. She hated seeing people in pain, and was extremely loyal to those she called friends, but also couldn't hold grudges. She was so kind, and beautiful, and perfect. It made me wonder what she was doing hanging out with me.

I looked ugly. I had a dull shade of brown hair that went to my shoulders. I had piercing blue eyes that unnerved people, abnormally pale skin with bruises all over, deep eye bags, a rough voice, and all this disgusting fat. So it made no sense on why she decided to be friends with me, but I'm still grateful that she did. The teasing still persists, but they don't do it around her so I'm safe while hanging out with her. I've been feeling weird around her, but maybe it's just what friendship makes you feel? I don't know. She just makes me feel wonderful and warm. I'll have to research it sometime. My mom's coming in to yell at me for being up at 3:24 am, so I gotta go.

-Kaley

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Word Count: 712