Karkat's Neighbor

This Is How It Ends

I took off, sprinting to my hive. I had to get there fast. The question still echoed in my thoughts. What did they do? What did they do? It was the only thought in my mind. I ran the whole way, not stopping for a second until I got to the porch. I knew it had to be bad. I twisted the handle and let the door slowly swing open.

My heart fell in my chest, and I felt it shatter, shards flying into my stomach. The blood. So much blood. It covered every surface. Glimmering gold, burning into my eyes. Her white feathers were everywhere too. She had struggled violently, I could tell. They'd tortured her. Her body was mutilated. They had cut her up. What did they do?

I fell to my knees, my gold-tinted tears mixing with the blood around me, though I hadn't noticed them start to flow. I crawled forward to her. I could see her body misshapen, and could tell she had broken bones. What did they do?

I reached a hand out, feeling time slowing down around me, and set it on her beak. I tried to ignore the huge opening in her middle, where everything had spilled out. She was three feet tall, but she seemed so tiny now. She was everything I had. I had no friends. My quadrants were empty. All I ever had was her. What did they do?

I looked up at the far wall, my vision focusing in on certain lines on the wall, different from the rest of the spatters, spelling out, 'How's your lusus?' Then, all emotion left. The fear, the anger, the hatred. The pain, the loss. I was hollow. I had nothing. Especially without a lusus. I'll be culled within the week. And it was all my fault.

I sat there for a while. Probably no more than five minutes, but it seemed like an eternity. I slowly stood up. I knew who they would be after next. No matter what it took. They WOULD NOT touch him. I would rather die than to have that happen. Although I'd be dying anyway.

With her gone, he was my only hope for a life that wouldn't have consisted of nothing but misery. Even if it could only last a few days. But he may never even know that. He probably only thinks of me as a liability and would be better off with me gone, since I knew his secret.

My lusus was wrong. The kinder you are, the more miserable you'll be.

But I'll show one final act of kindness, to five people. To Karkat, I'll protect him. And to those four, I will kill them quickly.

I looked down at my clothes. I was covered in blood. If Karkat saw me like this, would he worry and try to help me fight them, or not care? I don't know which scared me more. I walked down to his hive and took his movie out of my sylladex, and put it next to the door. Hopefully he'd notice it there. I sneaked back away quietly, and headed out to meet my tormentors.

With the hate gone, there would be no spark to light a fire. I'd have to rely on my scythe. I stayed in the shadows, where the moonlight wouldn't find me, numbly watching for them. I walked for about five more minutes before I saw them, sulking along, whispering, though loudly enough for me to hear.

I was vaguely aware that they were talking about me, wondering if I'd left yet so they could get the gray kid, and something about culling. They didn't notice me until I pulled out my scythe and swung at the yellowblood, who was hanging behind the group, wringing his thumbs. The blade cut into his neck, leaving his head attached, but the blood immediately poured out. I swung again, lopping it off. Killing their healer.

The other three spun around, one even screamed. I lunged at the lowest of them, slashing his stomach. He threw his hands over it, crying out, and I used the handle of my weapon to smash his head as he doubled over, and he collapsed. He'd bleed out before he came to. The other two had their weapons out now; one had a mace, the other a spear. I had no emotion on my face, not even the rage they'd been expecting. And that scared them.

The one with the spear lunged at me, stabbing my leg. I was aware it had happened, but I couldn't feel the pain. When I took a step closer, he looked like he wanted to run. I swung my scythe over my head to build up momentum, and felt the blade meet resistance when it got to him. The leader had blocked with his mace, and was pushing my weapon away, getting ready to take the offensive. I let it hit my arm, fully aware by the snap that it was broken. But I didn't care. I raised my scythe again, while they stared at me dumbly.

Their screams cut out as the blade cut through the air, and their necks. By this point, I was drenched in blood. I looked at the bodies around me. All not moving. Dead. In the back of my mind, something started to register, something they'd been saying before I cut them off, and the last tiny ray of hope faded. They had reported that my lusus was dead. I would be culled by morning. That gave me about an hour.

I broke the spear and pulled it out of my thigh, not bothering to stop the bleeding. With a limp, I headed home. I stepped into my hive, and sat in a chair by the door. I wondered if I should write Karkat a note. But I guess, he probably wouldn't care much anyway. For the next hour, I sat alone. Waiting patiently for my death. The culling drones would be here soon.

I heard them approach my hive. I breathed in and held it, closing my eyes. Opening them and sighing out, I set down my scythe, admiring the colors on it one last time. I glanced back at my lusus and waved a halfhearted goodbye. Standing straight and fearless, I walked to the door and opened it. This is it, I guess. I stepped out to meet my fate, and shut the door behind me.

And that's the end of my story. I'm not sure Karkat ever really knew what happened to those trolls, or to me. He probably guessed. I know we weren't that close, and didn't talk for long. But I thought maybe I'd mean more to him in the end. Maybe he'd at least refer to me as a friend. But I guess what I came down to in his eyes was:

CG: I THINK ONE OF MY NEIGHBORS WAS JUST CULLED RECENTLY, MAYBE YOU COULD LIVE THERE.