Written by:Pollarize
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Tyler had bad sleeping habits and everyone knew it.
The only question is what kind of bad sleeping habits. Nobody knew if he stayed up until odd hours of the night or if he woke up early.
Truth was, Tyler’s bad habits were hardly even bad. He was in bed and asleep by midnight each night, sound asleep until eight in the morning so he could get ready for work. He wasn’t about to correct people because he thought it was funny when they tried to find a reason for why he had so many dark circles. (Tyler had had them since he was a kid and they weren’t from bad sleeping habits).
Josh: fu ck ssorey i dint me at to
The text came in at four in the morning.
Josh was one of the people who thought that Tyler was up all night. They’d talked one time about Josh’s bad habit of texting Tyler at odd hours but Tyler said he was always awake.
It was a lie, he was never awake. He was sound asleep, dreaming of puppies and kittens or something pleasant. He was always woken up by a shrill noise in his ear. He’d changed Josh’s text tone to the loudest it could possibly be, the most annoying. He made sure that it would wake him up if Josh needed him. Josh needed him a lot.
Tyler rolled over and winced at the bright light of his screen. He hated that Josh needed him this way.
Tyler: What’s wrong? Did you have another one?
It took a long time for Josh to respond and Tyler sincerely hoped that Josh had fallen asleep. He had only slept over with Josh once before and Josh had had a nightmare. He woke both of them up, crying and shaking. He refused to be held even as Tyler promised it was okay. Josh sobbed until he wore himself out that night and Tyler felt useless.
He’d promised Josh that he was awake at four in the morning and that he was always a text away. He lied to Josh’s face but Tyler thought that for now, it was worth it.
Josh: idint fremember exactly whathaoen Ed but it wsa so scar y and i thib k I I sngt want to gi back ti sleep
Tyler read through it two times, his sleepy mind struggling to make sense of it for a moment.
Josh: dead thinsg eveeywhre tuohin g me adn i cnat
Tyler sighed, wishing he could help more than he could now.
Tyler: Hey, you’re okay. I’m here, it’s okay.
Tyler: Maybe you could spend the night tomorrow, cuddle with my puppy. He misses you.
Josh: he wa a a nice dog
Tyler smiled and breathed out, distracting Josh from whatever his nightmare had been. He seemed calmer after a few minutes, his texting mostly coherent.
Josh: dint wanna sleep
Tyler: You need to sleep.
Josh usually fell asleep shortly after saying he wouldn’t and tonight was no different. Tyler set his phone down and rolled onto his stomach, falling asleep again.
He felt like shit the next day. He woke up at eight-thirty instead of eight. He showed up late to work and spilled his coffee on his car floor. Josh saw him at work and smiled and pretended like last night hadn’t happened. Tyler saw him at work and smiled and pretended like he didn’t feel like death itself was clawing at his skull.
Tyler woke up that morning and knew that he wouldn’t have it any other way. He’d wake up to texts from Josh at four in the morning and he’d help Josh through another nightmare and he’d regret it the next morning but he didn’t care.
~~~
It had been a year since Josh texted Tyler during his nightmares.
Tyler crawled out of bed at eight in the morning, still going to sleep at midnight. He went to work and he smiled at Josh and Josh smiled at him but Josh didn’t text him anymore. Hadn’t for a year.
Tyler wasn’t even upset.
A year ago, the nightmares had stopped. Josh didn’t text Tyler for a week and then he came to Tyler, hugging him and thanking him profusely for everything he’d done.
“I’m cured,” he had teased and Tyler laughed with him. A small part of him had wondered if that night Josh would have another nightmare.
He didn’t and Tyler slept through the night.
A year ago, Josh confessed his feelings for Tyler and Tyler confessed that he didn’t have bad sleeping habits. They laughed and then they kissed.
Josh was soft against his palm, was gentle under his fingertips.
A year ago, Josh moved in with Tyler. He cuddled with Tyler’s puppy and he smiled as he crawled into bed. He smiled as he curled into Tyler’s side.
“Sorry if I have another nightmare,” he still said, apologizing even though he hadn’t had one for a year.
“Sorry if I wake you,”
“Sorry if I keep you up,”
“Sorry if I bother you,” he said, always apologizing to Tyler.
Tyler had tried telling him that he had nothing to apologize for. Tyler had tried telling him but Josh just shook his head and apologized again.
“Sorry if I annoy you.” So Tyler gave him a gentle smile and nodded his head.
“It’s okay, I don’t mind,” he said finally, running his hands along Josh’s back, holding him close and kissing the top of his head.
