Firebird (Revised)

Chapter 5- Fearless

   The sky was lightening as the morning drew near but the sun couldn’t come through the rain. I was so dreadfully tired of rain. It was peaceful on most days but I longed for the warmth of the sun.

   I dried off in my tent and lay down, not tired in the slightest. I was very cold though and crawled under my quilt. I pulled the feather out from under my pillow, its usual comfort and warmth spreading through me. Even in the complete darkness, it shimmered slightly.

   I needed to find Fargus. There were many questions I’d been waiting nine years to ask him. Such as, why did he tell me never to come? Maybe I’ll go find him tomorrow, I thought.

   I suddenly became very tired, as if I’d been literally drained of all energy. I didn’t want to sleep but as hard as I tried, I couldn’t keep myself from doing so. I let my eyelids fall and immediately, the dreams began.

   “If I don’t go, we will lose everything, Clara.”

   Her face was blurred but he could make out small features. Why couldn’t he see her clearly? “I don’t care if we lose it all!” she yelled, shoving him away. “You can’t leave us here alone!”

   Guilt overwhelmed him and he ran his hands through his hair. There was no other way. They needed money to survive. Otherwise, they would starve or freeze to death. She knew that as well as he and there was hardly a way to make enough money to fix that.

   He had never seen Clara so angry before. She had never once risen her voice and he never had with her. Now, her face was flustered and eyes, tearful. She wiped them away, letting herself fall against him. “I’m so sorry.”

   “I just want you and Arielle to have the best life you can. I don’t know what else to do.” He stroked her hair, holding her tightly. She seemed so small and helpless but he knew she was so much stronger.

   “Our life is fine. I’m happy and so is she... Aren’t you?”

   “Yes, Clara.” He was taken aback at such a question. “Of course I am. It just pains me to hear Arielle tell me she’s hungry because I can’t seem to bring enough food home for the three of us.”

   “I know, but there has to be another way.”

   He propped his chin on the top of her blonde head as she wrapped her arms around his torso. “This will pay well. I won’t be home for a long while but once I am, we will be happier than ever before and I will never leave again.”

   She didn’t answer immediately but nodded, smiling up at him as she wiped away a tear. “And Arielle will never be cold. We could buy her a coat.”

   “And you will never have to go days without decent food again.”

   “And you will never have to go without food at all again.”

   He spun her around then kissed her forehead. “And we could afford to provide for another child if we wanted.”

   “I would like that very much.” She laughed.

   “As would Arielle.”

   “Yes I would!” Arielle said, peering around the wall separating the only two rooms of the small house. She giggled and covered her mouth, trying to look like she was remorseful for eavesdropping.

   He opened one arm out to her and she leapt onto it. He lifted her to her mother’s height, holding them both tightly. “Good things will come of this if we give it time. Do you agree?”

   Clara smiled, letting it grow the more she imagined their future. She finally nodded. “It’s for the best.”

   “Oh yes it is,” Arielle agreed, squishing his face between her small hands. “because I am very hungry.”

   “Well so am I.” he growled playfully, putting her down as she screamed excitedly and ran. He kissed Clara one more time before running after Arielle. “We can make this work.”

   “It’s for the best.” She agreed once again, assuring herself more than him. He could see that she was ever so slightly skeptical and he knew why. There was always a chance he wouldn’t make it back. He would make sure and do all he could to ensure that he would. There was nothing in the world more important to him than that.