Firebird (Revised)

Chapter 5- Fearless

   My silhouette followed me on the ground as I climbed the metal rungs to the ladder of the high wire. Why are you doing this, Bella? Don’t you know you could fall to your death? I stood on the small platform at the top. I was higher than I’d ever been before and it was absolutely amazing. I could see everything in the tent from the farthest stand to the top of the death wheel.

   The rope stood before me, the other end so far away. It was thinner than I’d always imagined. I stretched out one foot. The rope was so tight, it didn’t shake or wobble but I hadn’t yet fully stood on it.

   I put my weight on that foot and let my other join it on the steel cable. I looked down at the thin rope holding me up. It was like flying. Why aren’t you afraid? I asked myself as I took a single step.

   I had made my own tightrope at home but it wasn’t near as high nor as long. I could only go forward though. I’d never learned how to walk backwards on it. When I had tried, I’d failed, once resulting in a broken arm.

   I held out my arms and stepped with small, slow strides. I could do it. Joy overwhelmed me. I knew I could walk a tight rope but never up so high. I had always dreamed of it. That’s one reason the Fireflower inspired me so much. I could clearly picture her beautiful dancing, the way she showed no fear when crossing the thin line.

    I closed my eyes, standing still on the wire, and imagined her dancing. Though I could see the steps play in my mind, I knew I couldn’t imitate them, but why not try?

   I balanced myself on one foot, extending the other over the edge. Keeping my chin held high, I’d forgotten how far I was from the ground. I didn’t have a bit of trouble until I remembered.

   My foot faltered, sliding off the wire when I tried to return to both feet. A small yelp escaped my lips and my heart leapt into my throat. My arms flailed and I barely regained my balance before falling.

   I shook all over, so afraid of what could’ve been. Once I made it to the other end, I clutched the rail so tightly, my knuckles whitened. Despite my fear, I laughed a bit. I’d made it. Others in the circus would think it crazy that I thought so much of that small feat. It was a terrific feeling though.

   I shakily climbed down the ladder and again gathered my things. This time as I walked out, I didn’t turn back. I had done all I could for tonight and that was enough to satisfy me.

   A chill crept up my spine and I  heard a scuffle outside the tent as I approached the exit. Someone had been watching me. Who would care to follow me there? I hurried out knowing I wouldn’t be able to see who it was even if I did catch a glimpse.

   There wasn’t anyone there at all. I didn’t want to call out and wake anyone when I could have been imagining it all. Then, it could have been Chalavar. He had good reason to watch me; to see if I was ready. Of course, I wasn’t and if it was him, he knew that by now.

   Not knowing who it was nagged at me but the cold rain was quickly soaking through my clothes, freezing my skin. I shivered as the wind picked up. There was no reason to pursue whomever it was.