Firebird (Revised)

Chapter 5- Fearless

   I reached under my bed and dragged out my duffle bag then stepped out into the night. There was a chill in the air. The grass was soaking wet freezing my bare feet within a few steps. Mud squished up between my toes.

   Everyone else was in their tents, I suppose because of the rain. Normally they’d stay out well past three. Instead, there was no music, no laughter, only the sound of crickets chirping in the woods behind the camp. It almost was lonely to not hear the regular gaieties as I had almost constantly since I had come.

   I walked into the performance tent somewhat warily thinking back on the dream. The image of it being swallowed up in fire flashed through my mind. It’s alright, I told myself. Nothing to be afraid of.

   I was completely alone. Oddly enough, a few torches were lit around the ring. It was still fairly dark but I could see the aerial ribbons hanging down from the high beams of the tent. The shadows of the equipment dragged across the powdered dirt floor and over the stands in a menacing fashion. It appeared that they danced because of the flickering light.

   I stretched beside the ribbons, knowing that I shouldn’t try them without Ryo’s guidance but also that I needed to practice anyway. Perhaps it would be easier without her or Hyun watching my every move.

   I climbed the ribbon, taking my time in doing so. I wasn’t in a rush. There was no pressure other than keeping myself from falling. Otherwise, I was only trying to impress myself.

   I had never successfully completed a pose for Ryo but decided to try anyways. Just for myself. I twisted my right leg up, securing the left by silk under my thigh. I then unrolled backwards until my face was parallel to the floor. I’d never been afraid of heights and didn’t particularly mind being so high up without anything under me.

   It was exhilarating. I closed my eyes feeling more relaxed after getting my mind off things. All thoughts escaped and I focused only on the beginner techniques I’d been taught. Once they were mastered, Ryo would move on to teaching me the entire routine. I was to be in her portion of the show according to her.

   That was surprising to me because of how advanced her show was. I was only to be a back-up ribbon dancer but that’s more than I had ever expected.

   I stayed suspended awhile, thinking these things over as I looked over the ring. The tent was still empty. The stands were dark behind the light of the torches. The dusty dirt floor was free of any footprints besides my own. I wondered if I was supposed to be out so late. Were there even rules to staying in the camp?

   I didn’t care anymore. What would happen to me even if there were rules?

   I practiced until my limbs were heavy and burning. The zipper to my bag seemed so loud as I placed the rosins back in. Even the sound of the rain had disappeared. I slung my bag over my shoulder and started away from the ribbons but stopped myself.

   The high wire, death wheel and other random equipment was still set out. I could do whatever I wanted to. It would be foolish to do it not only because I never had but because there was no one to catch me if I fell. Then, it would also be foolish to ignore such a brilliant opportunity to fulfill a lifelong goal of mine.