Cataclysm

Late Night Walk

Loni Utan sits across me with his eyes wide in the night background. His oversized coat hangs on his thin shoulders loosely and his boots look too big for his feet because the one looks ready to fall off of his foot.

“Nora? What are you doing out this late?” He asks, pulling his boot back onto his foot and looking up at me.

“I could ask you the same question.”

“I came to get away from my family for a few hours. I usually take long walks this time of night when everyone else has gone to sleep, but I guess the twins don’t understand that concept yet.” He mutters the last part.

I knew Loni had a rather large family and that his mother had just recently gave birth to twin girls. I have never had to share the attention of my parents, being an only child, but being one child out of six seems harsh. It also doesn’t help that our town is hard enough as it is to keep death at bay. His mother is trapped in that house every day all day trying to keep her children healthy and happy. It is a task that seems unbearable.

“That’s understandable.” I finally say.

“What about you? I never see you out this time of night.”

“I needed some fresh air and to get away from my father’s obnoxious rules.”

“That’s understandable.” He mimics my words while offering his hand to help me up. “Well if you don’t mind the company, would you like to walk together tonight?”

“Sure.”

“Can I ask you something?” He says while looking me in the eyes.

“Ask me what?”

“What happened to your face?”

“My hands slipped when I was trying to open a jar and I hit myself in the face.” I try to lie, but the look he gives me shows that it is far from believable. “Okay, I got into a fight.”

“A fight with who? Who would pick a fight with someone like you?”

Can I really tell him? Can I tell him about my training and my fight with the outsider? After everything he has said to me in the past, why would I tell him of all people? I think of other excuses to tell him, but I am a horrible liar. I finally exhale loudly before turning my eyes to him and agreeing with myself to tell him.

“I have been training with General Merak for over ten years now and while I was testing a new training method, I ran into an outsider in the forest. He ambushed me and I got away with these to show for it.” I whisper quickly while showcasing my black and blue marks. “I have never told anyone because my father wanted me to keep my trainings a secret.”

“I would have never guessed.” He finally says after a long silence. “You, of all people, a wannabe soldier.”

“Yeah, just a wannabe soldier.” I repeat in a whisper.

He stops in his tracks and I do the same. His blonde locks sway messily across his forehead and his blue eyes reflect the silver moonbeams. His thin lips are parted slightly while he looks to me with confusion and raised eyebrows. He expects me to say more, but I already got everything off my chest. He knows everything. Loni, the boy I have come to despise knows my secret that I have kept for nearly sixteen years. Pathetic.

“I’m going to head to the stables.” I say, turning my back to him.

“I’ll come with you.”

I finally shrug. There’s no point in arguing with him. The company is nice when the only other option is a lonely silence. I might as well have him tag along.

We walk down the sidewalks and he begins to slow his pace so that we are walking side by side. The wind is cold on my face, but it feels nice. A flapping sound comes from a wooden house in the distance and I notice the loose tarp swaying on a roof. A man climbs a ladder and tries effortlessly to catch it. He finally does and begins hammering nails into it to keep it to the roof.

“Life is so rough here.” Loni finally says.

“Yeah.”

“Don’t you wish we could have grown up some place nicer?” He asks, facing me. “I mean, I personally would love to know what running water is like and how nice electricity is.”

“Yeah, me too.” I say, nodding. “The stables are just up ahead.”

We walk to the long wooden barn. The sound of whinnying warms me. Halters shake and ring in the long barn. The tin roof has a blue tarp filling in the gaps and buckets sit in the runway collecting water dripping from the ceiling. The wooden stalls are small and line both sides of the walls. Hay bales lie in the long hallway and saddles hang on each door to the wooden stall.

I walk down the long row until I spot the stall housing my horse. She walks to the door and hangs her head out the gate for me to pet her head. She has no markings on her head or her body. The only markings she has are on her legs. She has four white socks. The rest of her is a dark bay. She is a beautiful horse and the door has her name carved into it.

“How are you Capella?” I say, stroking her mane.

“This is your horse?” Loni asks from behind.

“Yes, General Merak told me I could have one, so I picked her. She was just a filly when I picked and I was about four or five. Now, she’s an old mare.”

She snorts and I chuckle a little. Her halter rattles on the bridge of her nose and I adjust it so it doesn’t brush and rub. I then quickly check her food and water and realize she has just recently been bedded. The straw is new and her water is full and her hay is replenished.

“You’re lucky.” Loni whispers. “Only the known members of the town are permitted to have horses. Everyone here knows your name and they all respect you. I’m nothing even close to you and I envy you.”

“You envy me?” I ask, turning to face him.

“Yes, you have more than anyone in this town. You have a father who controls everything and everyone. You have a mentor who cares about you and teaches you to defend yourself. You have-”

“I have a father who doesn’t even care what I do. I have a mentor who expects more from me than I can produce. I have dreams that will never come true. My life is far from perfect, Loni.”    

I think we break the record for the strongest silence because there are no sounds in the entire barn. No chains rattle. Not a single horse snorts or whinnies. Even the wind has quieted to a whisper in the trees.

“It’s not perfect, but it’s better than mine.” He whispers

“Well, that’s not my fault.” I say. “I’m going home.”

I turn on my heels and walk silently down the straightaway. I expect him to run after me and flag me down, but he doesn’t. He stands where I left him and doesn’t say a single word. I am thankful for this.