mint; （ a. knight ）

10. cerulean;

Awsten was home. The knowledge that he would be home soon had been helping me keep my head on straight so I could actually focus and deal with the things I needed to in the last week, while simultaneously causing massive amounts of anxiety.

Jet lag had kicked his ass something fierce, though, and his sleepy ass had called me from the Houston airport to tell me that he was going to go home and "sleep for a minimum of a year" and he would be over to see me when he didn't feel like "shit on a shingle." I had assumed that this would be the case and was weirdly grateful to have some time to figure out what exactly I was going to say to him about what our relationship was turning into. Even though all I really wanted to do was squeeze him so tight that every bone in his spine cracked and kiss his face until I couldn't breathe.

It had been two days since he'd been home and there was radio silence on his end. I had started off doing well, telling myself that he was exhausted and trying to fix his sleep schedule while also spending time with his family which was very important to him. But the silence bothered me more as the hours turned into days.

Quite a few times, my fingers hovered over the screen of my phone, wanting to reach out to him but I always chickened out in the end. The idea that he was avoiding me made me feel like my chest would collapse and I had to remind myself that Awsten wasn't the type to play games. He didn't like it done to him, and he wouldn't do it to me.

Thankfully I had some very busy days to keep my head preoccupied and I only really fed my growing worries at night when I was laying in bed, staring at my phone screen waiting for him to text me.

I had dance class in the morning, then I went grocery shopping and cleaned my apartment. I was becoming more and more fed up with the idea that I was allowing Matt to control my mood since I was still fighting with him about my car; my future was bright and allowing him space in my head was only doing me a disservice in the end. At least, that's what Carys said and I wanted to believe her so badly. I finally took the step and unfollowed him on every social media account and, just like that, a weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt good about it, freed.

I was headed to Starbucks when my phone started ringing. A simple thing, really, but my heart started beating insanely fast because I knew who it was even before I saw the name on the screen.

"Hello, Awsten," I said when I picked up the call.

"Hey!" he said brightly. "I'm fucking alive! Isn't that great?"

I laughed. "It definitely is. How are you feeling?"

"Rested. Relaxed. Thriving." Awsten laughed at his own goofiness. It was a night and day difference from when he'd called me from the airport, his voice scratchy and the exhaustion etched deep. "Can I come see you sometime soon?"

"Obviously, yeah." I bit my bottom lip nervously before admitting, "But I would love to see you tonight if that's something you can swing. I'll make you dinner and everything."

"Trying to lure me over with food, huh?" he teased me.

I smiled into the phone. "Is it working?"

"It absolutely fucking is." He chuckled softly. "What are you doing right now?"

"Oh, I'm at Starbucks getting⎯" I started he cut me off.

"Which one?!" he all but shouted and I started laughing. "Shit, sorry! I didn't mean to talk over you!"

"Relax," I teased him. "It's the Starbucks in Westchase."

"I don't know where the fuck that is, nevermind." I laughed at Awsten's very blunt tone and it made him laugh, too. He was so awful with directions.