Spiders And Stars // Peter Parker/Spider-Man Fanfic

Chapter 37

I told Peter I'd try them. So right now they're fitting a harness with sensors to track the muscle sequences in my back and match them to flight patterns in bird or whatever they're doing.

I try to listen and follow along. I really do. But I keep missing things, unable to focus.

It could be because I really don't want to be here. I don't want these fake wings. I'd rather be hunting the hunters. Or even finding my birth-family.

I had my hair shaved down this morning. I honestly like it better short. And Peter had no problem with it because he seen what was happening with it long.

"Asteryn."

I shake my head, snaping out of my daze as Shuri stands in front of me. She's the one who made the wings and is programming them.

"I'm sorry." I mumble with a soft sigh. "Where were we?"

"I want you to do as if you are fully extending your left wing." She instructs, obviously getting irritated with me. She's trying hard to stay patient, but I'd be beyond frustrated if I was working with me right now too.

The muscles move and there's a weight to it, and a rustle beside me.

Shuri grins. "Good."

I look over to see the wing. It's uncanny. Visually, there is absolutly no difference. Well, except for the black harness holding them in place.

"Now pull it back."

I do slowly.

She makes me repeat it with the right, then both at the same time.

"They seem to be working." She continues to smile proudly. "I'd like for you to do a test flight."

I lower my gaze, pursing my lips. It still feels wrong. If it wasn't for Peter, I wouldn't even be here.

"Asteryn, come on. Maybe once you're up and flying again it won't be soo bad." Shuri sighs. "They serve the same purpose, do they not?"

I don't want to snap at her or hurt her feelings.

My wings were soo much more than a means of flight. They were a part of me. They were comfort and warmth and full of marvelous sensations.

I take a deep breath, nodding my head discontently. "I guess."

Peter -who had been lingering around the control room- joins us as we head outside.

"So?" He whispers, searching me for something.

I know what he's looking for, but I'm not gonna decieve him. So instead I mumble "They're heavy."

He frowns, pushing his hands in his pockets.

I let out a heavy, frustrated breath. "I donno. Maybe I'm just being... obstinate and bullheaded. Maybe trying them will do something for me."

"Are you two comming?" Shuri huffs, grabbing me by the hand and pulling me along faster towards the runway. "Alright. Anytime you're ready."

I nod, taking a moment to steel myself.

I spread them and hear the faint rustling of the wind in the feathers.

I look back at them.

I want to feel happy about this. I want to show how greatful I am that Shuri and her team did this.

I continue to feel a weight in my soul. I know this isn't gonna be the same. I know this is gonna be more like driving a motorcycle compared to a trail-bike. It's not gonna burn my energy or give me the rush of a good workout.

I close my eyes, stretching them in and out. Trying to work myself up.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm bias.

I can't feel the tips as I spread the feathers. It's hard for me to even get a good sense of how far I'm holding them.

"Shuri...?"

"Yes?" She replies with a little hint of frustration in her tone.

I look up at the sky, then to the ground as the wings lower behind me. "I... I really do apriciate all this."

She purses her lips. "Asteryn..."

"And I thank you for being patient with me. And for all the time and effort and the resources you put into these." I run a hand against the fuzzy short hair on my head. "But maybe it's just not meant for me to fly anymore."

She's quiet, her expression falling into one of sympathy.

"Can I please take them off?" I whisper guiltily. "Maybe after some time passes I'll change my mind."

She nods with a little sigh. "Yes, we'll go take them off."

PETER'S P.O.V

"Hey, kid."

I look over to see mister Banner.

"Hey."

"She's really not into it, huh?"

I shake my head, watching as Aster spreads and closes the wings. She observes them, but she doesn't look very interested.

"Peter, I know you just want her to be happy again. But this isn't making her happy." Bruce says gently. "This is something she has to pursue on her own. When she's ready."

I nod, burying my face in my hands. "I know... you're right. I know. I just..."

"It's gonna take time." He places a hand on my back. "She needs time. She needs a distraction and right now she needs you most."

I glance over. "But I'm the one that got her in this situation."

"If she thought that, do you think she'd still be here with you?" Banner questions. "This is the fault of the people who did it to her. She knows that. And she's not blaming anyone else but them."

When I look back towards the girls, they're heading back in and Aster looks soo defeated.

"I think I'll take her to London. She's been wanting to find out where she's from for a while now. Maybe that'll keep her occupied for a while."

Banner nods aprovingly before standing up. "You're a good kid."