"The end of what?" He asked. I looked away from him and took a step back. "The end of.." I trailed off because I didn't want to say it. Then it would feel too real, I was serious about everything that I had just said. "You had no problem with that speech about moving forward and all that bullshit so have no problem and tell me what you mean!" Don raised his voice so loud and looked so angry and annoyed, I was afraid to complete my sentence. "Adonis, stop yelling at me. Please! You know what I'm trying to say." I sighed. "I don't so tell me." He crossed his arms over his chest and waited. I finally brought my head up and looked him in the eyes.. His were so cold looking, hard and blank. I knew I was probably hurting him. "The end of us." I whispered loud enough for him to hear me.
He nodded before making a move to leave the room but I made it to the door before he could open it. "Move Britni." He spoke in a calm tone for the first time. "No. I don't want you to go out there and do something that you regret. Don't run away from this." I told him, blocking the door with my body. "I can tell you not to do the same. In six months time you could be running from me. You're familiar with that being that you ran forever before finally wanting to be in this relationship, that's all you know. Everybody ends up going back to their old ways after things have run their course. You said that to me a week ago. I'm done talking to your ass now get out of my way." He spoke through gritted teeth before picking me up and throwing me on to the bed.
I jumped right up and started to the door after him not even worried that he just basically threw me. "Wait!" I called out before the door closed. "More nagging?" He groaned. "Never." I said as I walked over to the dresser and started piling his clothes into his small suitcase. He wanted to get away then I wasn't even going to continue to try and stop his ass. "You want to get away, do that. I didn't ask your black ass to come out here and be with me you came on your own. Take your time with whatever you're going to do but you're not coming back in this hotel room. Not on my watch, got my ass pouring my fucking heart out to you and you acting like you don't give a damn. I'm probably looking and sounding like a clingy ass fool. Fuck that!" I zipped his suitcase up and threw it at him wildly. I wasn't caring if he caught it or if it had hit him and I was hoping for the latter.
"I'm over here and I end up changing myself for you because I'm lowkey afraid of losing you but, if you really love me like you say or like people say you do then you would be willing to accept me as I am now along with my standards. I don't think you can do that, that's where the six months time comes in. Think about it." I continued. After my rant, I looked up to see him standing in the middle of the floor looking stupid and sorry. And the fact that he was still in my presence pissed me off.
"Get out! You standing there like you have some more business in here when you don't! Go!" I yelled while pushing him to the door. I no longer felt like trying in this moment. I didn't really have it in me at this point. I pushed him until he grabbed my hands and tried to hold me. "No! Don't touch me!" I fought and jerked my body against him trying to hold me. I was angry that he was stronger than me and because I was slowly losing energy from fighting against him. "I'm not leaving you B." He sighed, holding on to me tighter. "Please, let me go. I'm over here fighting. For what? You and you can't even do the same damn thing for me. God, you make me feel so stupid!" I cried out finally breaking free from his hold.
"Don, please just go. The more I look at you the more I want to forget about everything that just happened and I want to hurt you. I don't even care about the six months, what will that even change? The extra days we were going to spend down here I don't want to do it anymore so I'll be going home with everyone else. You stay and do something... Think about everything and then when you come home we can go from there. But right now, I can't and I'm tired of wasting my energy by trying to stop you and make you realize what's going on with us." I stood with the door open waiting for him to walk past but not without him stopping and kissing my forehead and an "I love you." leaving his mouth.
Forty Seven
Start from the beginning
