Call It Off [Boy X Boy]

Chapter Five

The both of them turn back to me, smiling.

"I want to tell him." Nadine speaks up, looking between Matt and I.

I look at her confused.

"You've got this." Matthew gives Nadine a genuine smile and rubs her arm.

"Please don't look at me any different?" She practically begs.

"I won't." I give her a reassuring smile.

"Promise?" She asks.

"Pinky promise." I hold out my pinky.

She grabs mine with hers and gives me a small smile.

"I just don't want you to look at me differently. I don't like outting myself sometimes but I trust you. I'm trans. I was born male but I'm not. I. I'm bad at explaining. You know what it means?" Nadine asks.

"One, yes I know what it means. But two, I wouldn't look at you differently for that. If you killed someone? Maybe. But this? No way." I open my arms to hug her and she takes a few steps and hugs me back.

"Oh wow. I wasn't even included. How rude of you two." Matthew fakes a hurt look.

"Oh come here!" Nadine smiles and opens our hug up for Matthew.

We stand there for a few seconds, in each others arms before backing away.

"Why did you move here for that Ethan guy anyways?" Matthew says as I sit on the couch, Nadine sitting beside me and Matt sitting on the other end.

"When he told me he was coming home I was planning on coming back here with him. But then he introduced August and August proposed. I decided I'd still come, in hopes maybe I'd win Ethan back. But I don't really know if I can now. He kicked me out of his apartment because of August." I sigh.

"But he did come back to check on you." Nadine says, giving me a small smile.

I shake my head.

"Hey man. Even if Ethan decided to fully go through with it, you could find someone so much better." Matthew suggests.

"But I don't want anyone else. Ethan is like perfect in my eyes. He is smart, sarcastic, funny, kind and very attractive. He has a heart of gold and doesn't back down. He is like everything anyone could ask for. But August gets him. And I don't like that. I want Ethan to myself. I miss cuddling with him. Hugging him, sleeping next to him, kissing him. I miss all of it. I even miss our friendship. It's real shitty right now.

And even worse, I feel like a shit person for wanting to break up August and Ethan. If I were a good friend, I'd let them be together because it would make Ethan happy. But no I have to be selfish and try to have Ethan all to myself. Which sounds absolutely amazing but what if I hurt him. What if I try to break them up and he realises and then he hates me? I don't want to risk that. But I love him.."

I bring my knees to my chest. I hate how my walls have come down. I hardly know Matthew and I've only known Nadine a short while yet here I am ready to cry and ranting about my ex boyfriend. My first boyfriend. I let my walls down to Ethan, too. What happened to the badass I was? Why did I change for him? If I hadn't bought him maybe I'd still be with my family and I wouldn't have to worry about love.

"Alex.." Nadine mumbles and puts her head on my knees, looking up at me. "We will work this out. Ethan won't hate you."

"You don't know that for sure." I whine.

"I'm 99.9% positive." She grins.

I roll my eyes and put my head back.

"I'm gonna run and get ice cream. Pick a movie. What kind do you guys want." Matthew smiles, clearly trying to fix the mood.

"Chocolate ice cream but make sure its vegan?" I ask.

Nadine looks at me weird.

"Listen, I like the taste of vegan ice cream more."

She rolls her eyes before saying. "Chunky Monkey"

"Okay. I shall be back. It better not be a shit movie!" He says before walking out.

"I vote Sixteen Candles." Nadine says.

"I've never seen it."

"Oh my god! Seriously? It's an amazing movie. Sam is literally so relatable. And Jake Ryan is so hot." She fans her face with her hand as if it were actually hot in the room.

"And you are so weird." I say in the same voice she used to talk about Jake Ryan.

"Oh hush up." She smiles and pushes my arm slightly.

********

"I am back with wonderful ice cream!" Matthew walks through my door, kicking off his shoes and setting the bag on the coffee table.

"Chunky monkey for you." He says and hands the container to Nadine.

"And chocolate vegan ice cream for you." Matthew hands me mine.

"Forgot spoons." I say and get up, going to my kitchen and getting a couple of spoons.

I hand them to my friends and sit back on the couch. Nadine hits play on the movie and it begins. We all begin eating our ice cream and staring at the screen.

A couple days in and I already have two amazing friends. But I still miss Ethan.

**A/N
IM WAY LATE ON AN UPDATE I AM SO SO SO SORRY OH MY GOD. NEXT WEEK WILL BE A LITTLE CRAZY TOO WITH FINALS AND ALL BUT I SWEAR I WILL TRY. ON THE 29th I HAVE AN 18 HOUR CAR RIDE SO I WILL WRITE SOME THEN FOR SURE!! IM SORRY. xoxox kat **