Pureblood Princess Alexis Vampire Knight (COMPLETE & EDITED)

Ch 43: Neon Flames

"I don't love you like a friend or a brother before you try interpreting my confession that way." Kaname said, giving me some space.

"Why?... Why are you telling me this now when I have a boyfriend and what about Yuki?" I asked, my eyes still blurry with tears. "Don't you love her?"

"Only because I have to for her parents." He sighed running a hand through his hair. "I didn't want it to ruin our friendship, so I settled for what we had going on."

"You're telling me that the big bad Pureblood Prince was afraid of losing someone like me. I'm not that special Kaname." I told him in somewhat of a joking matter to lessen the tension between us.

"Shut up, you're a special kind of beautiful because you can't see it for yourself." He smiled softly but sadly, gently pulling me to his chest. "So yes, I was terrified of losing you and I let my jealousy get the best of me."

"I understand why you did what you did because I know how ugly envy can be and turns the sweetest beings into bitter creatures like my sister..." I said slowly separating myself from his embrace, I keep my head down because I couldn't handle seeing him trying to build his mask back up to hide the fact that I was killing him for much longer than he was killing me in this moment. "I need some time to think about what has happened."

"I know..." He whispered, leaning in to press a kiss on the crown of my head. "I can wait, I waited this long meaning I can wait a little longer." With that he left, leaving me in the wood by myself but their creepiness didn't scare me as much as my thoughts did.

"Ugh why is life for the main character so hard on their emotions. Screw love triangle or whatever kind of love shape this is now." I whined walking closer to the center of the forest towards the lake that Kain and I went to on our first date,"Screw you creator, adding shit just to fuck with my life for your own entertainment!"

(Creator: On really, it that how you feel? Alexis: I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it Life-Ruiner. Creator: Okay Bitch it's on. Alexis: Oh no.)

Now that I had declared a war with life, I was even more afraid of what might happen. I couldn't even enjoy how dazzling the water appeared bathing in the moonlight's loving light, just like the last time I was here. The memories were there, and my feelings were there... I just don't know how strong they are.

"How can he say he loves me?" I voiced sitting by the shore, gliding my fingers over the peddles that lined it. "I mean who in their right mind would love me? Like me me, not the outside me but the inside me. I don't even like inside me and only like outside me on special occasions." I ranted throwing mini rocks into the water creating ripples, "I'm a bitchy and reckless, maybe a little too into murder but fuck being a good person I'm not even a good vampire. Blood makes my stomach queasy like I'm plasma intolerant, and I'm 6 years late in getting my vamp powers while others got them at 10! Let's put me being weak on the list along with apparently being obvious to the affection of men according to the fourth man to ever confess any form of love, real or fake, to me." At this point I was letting all the confusion, and self-hatred out.

Coming to terms with my internal problems instead of the problems I was being exposed to, "Why would ridiculously hot guys look at a boring girl more than a friend, I mean I'm not even the prettiest girl here. Between myself and I that girl Yuki hangs with is the prettiest, hell even Ruka is prettier than me which is probably why my own boyfriend is all over her-" I paused finally realizing the other person who was involved in all this too. "Kain, how am I going to tell him about-"

"Kaname being in love with you." A cool tone startled me from behind.

"Oh shit!" I spun around relieved to find my fiery lover. "Kain, you scared me." I said placing a hand over my pounding heart as I stood up to go over to him.

"I'm sorry I didn't know the Princess was scared of the dark spooky woods." He mocked meeting me halfway. "Because she certainly isn't afraid to jump in front of a sword to defend someone who made her cry." He rose a hand to stop me when he noticed my mouth opening, "But before you defend that statement by saying he just a friend, let's talk about how my cousin is just a friend or Shiki is just a little brother or Zero is just a troubled teen that you want to help out like some guardian angel." His eyes were growing cold like the flames in them had been blown out. "You go around involving yourself with every boy here, who aren't your boyfriend, claiming you're 'helping' them."

'What is he inferring?' I thought responding with, "Kain, they're my friends and you don't know the kind of things they're going through."

"What like Hanabusa's newfound fear for Kaname because you two were there the night of your sister's murder."

"You were there?" I gasped, never hearing about his from Aido.

"Only to find you passed out in his arms, yeah it hurt seeing you like that." He said shoving his clenched fist into his pant pockets, "At first I thought you ditched me for him but then I heard you got kidnapped and brushed it off but what really hurt me is that you didn't come to me for comfort and to share your problems instead you went to Kaname."

My brows scrunched in confusion, "I never went to Kaname."

"Well, he was in your room that night and he was in your room the same night I went to check on you when you were slapped, wasn't he?" Kain accused.

"We weren't doing anything when I woke up the night of the murder." I defended still not understanding why he was bringing this all up. Did he see Kaname being intimate with me in the woods instead of just hearing us? If he did, then he would have seen me trying to push him away, right? So, why...

"Yet you were the night when I visited you."

"We weren't even together yet when it happened."

Those words were all it took for him to release a humorless laugh, the flames were back, painted in neon green. "Great so you defend guys who insult you and sleep with guys who hit you."

"It was an accident and you know it because I willingly took that hit for you." I could not believe he would say something like that to me, this is what I was telling Kaname. Envy spreads through its victims and burns those they love, I just never thought Kain would subject himself to it so easily.

"And your willingness to help other is something I admired about you, but there is a point where you get too involved and you did that with all these guys." He countered.

"I got too involved with you and now we're dating!" Our voices growing louder to match the other's.

"That's the point! How do I know you won't get too invented with other guys and leave me for them!" He growled pulling at his strawbeery blonde locks in frustration.

"Because you should trust me." I cried, feeling the salting liquid rolling down my once again flustered cheeks.

"I did trust you but after seeing your half-ass attempt to throw Kaname off you earlier, I don't think I can." So, he did see it all, then why couldn't he see that I was fighting. I was fighting, I know I was. "Ruka was right, this is too much to handle." He concluded, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Excuse me, Ruka?" I questioned lighting my own jaded spark, making it my turn to laugh bitterly. "Oh, this is just great, you're bitching about not trusting me and me not coming to you about my problems when you're doing the same thing with her." It was unbelievable at how much of a hypocrite he was being. "Maybe if you didn't ditch me first at the party for her then maybe I wouldn't have gotten kidnapped in the first place!" I shouted letting my rage escape me.

"I blame myself for that but in the end, you didn't need me to save you, you already had Kiryu saving you." He hissed, getting in my face. "It's fucked up that my girl was being saved by another guy who has feelings for her."

"No what's fucked up is that my boyfriend rather be with some other girl who he's been in love with years before me and then let's his jealousy control him into yelling at me someone who is in the same boat as him." I threw back at him, but my tone softened at the ended as I asked the question that's been eating me since I saw him with her. "Kain tell me the truth am I just a replacement for Ruka?"

He looked like someone had punched him in the gut, turning his head to the side avoiding my gaze before speaking, "You're..."