Art is really the only true thing is this world if you ask me. Thoughts brought down to their purest form, and put into any way we can. Like a flow of ideas and abstract concepts coming out of our brains and through our mouths, hands, or bodies into world.
I graduated high school and got a scholarship into an art school on the other side of the country. I told my parents I was sad to go, and that I would miss them, but I don't plan on going back. I honestly almost hope I never see them again, but when I put it like that it sounds bad. I've been waiting for my life to start since I was 14, and now here I am, in a strange city, alone. I love it.
It's been almost two weeks since I arrived here and classes have yet to start. Everything is great, and I think I've fallen in love with my roommate. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever met and I wish I had the courage to tell her. She's so nice and so, so funny. I talk to her a lot, and I flirt too. She flirts back, which is strange because I think she's straight. Actually, thinking about it I've never heard her talk about any men.
Today I painted my wall. It's reds and oranges and yellows, like a fog that somebody set on fire. Jacey, my roommate, said she liked it, and that it matched my spirit. I should have painted a rainbow, to give her a clue.
I got a job offer, finally. I don't need a job, as I'm here on scholarship and we get free food but I have plenty of time, and could use the money. They needed a dancer, and I hoped it didn't turn out to be a position as an exotic dancer in a strip club. At least not at a straight club, I didn't like the idea of men watching me
I had my interview, and I got the job. I was dancing on stage at some gay club down in the city center, and it paid well. I don't know why people think jobs like this are so bad, I love to dance. I painted a picture of the city when I got home, and I added green clouds coming out of the windows. I don't know why.
I had my first shift today. Maybe a reason people don't like club performance jobs is because they're tiring. I'm sure tired. After I came home I danced for Jacey, and I think she liked it. I know I liked her watching me.
Classes started today and I sat with Jacey in painting. I didn't think she'd want to sit near me, but she saw me outside the class and took my hand and pulled me to a set of seats. We started by painting interpretive self portraits, I painted mine as a colorful silhouette on a dark background, with empty eye sockets, a stitched up mouth and a hand holding up a flare. The color in my silhouette represented my thoughts and ambitions, whereas the dark eyes and closed mouth stood for how much I struggled to tell people of what I felt, whether it was positive or negative. The hand holding the flare shows both how I have to resort to using less efficient forms of communication such as rhyming words or flowing colors, and how often people think that because they don't know what happens inside me they assume its bad. Jacey painted little red hearts on the corner of my canvas. I wonder why.
I think I saw Jacey wearing a hoodie with a rainbow on it.
I had a terrible day, and I wish I had just never left my room. As I was walking the wire from my earbuds that hung out the bottom of my hoodie got caught on something and ripped. Then later on I went to Starbucks and realized that the ten dollars I had taken with me had fallen out of my pocket, so I had to go back home. I left the dorm and came back with ten less dollars and a pair of broken headphones. When I returned Jacey saw I was angry, as my eyes had started to water and she gave me a hug. Then she put her hands on my cheeks and said I was gonna be okay, and that she had to leave to class. She didn't need to tell me that, I knew I would be fine.
Ever since I came home that day Jacey and I have gotten a lot closer. When I was painting at my desk she turned on some music and pulled me out of my chair, and we danced for almost 10 minutes until she was tired and panting. I was fine, as I danced most days for much longer. She sat down on her bed and pulled me on to her lap, so I straddled her legs and looked down at her. She smiled at me and shook her head, saying she had to go to class. I wonder why she keeps teasing me.
