101 Ways to Kill Bucky Barnes

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    "Stupid, flipping cat!" You almost screamed in the garage as Fernando pulled another car apart. You could hear him chuckle under his breath, which infuriated you even further. Grabbing the nearest wrench you spun on your heel and hurdled it threw the air in the flamboyant man's direction, hitting square in the back.
"'Ey, man, just cause you got rusty is no reason to take it out on me." He shouted as he turned to face you, grease smudging his face.
"I'm not rusty, it was the felines fault. Stupid cat." You responded, leaning back against the bench, crossing your arms.
"A cat brought you down? The oh so mighty y/n?" He snickered walking in your direction.
"I do have knives on me and still one hell of an aim." You retorted back, glaring at him.
"Except when it comes to the dreamy dark haired assassin." He shot back with a wink. "I'm beginning to think you may be purposely messing up."
"Fernando."
"Aye, settle down, let's go over other options." He said sitting down on the stool in front of one of the many computers in the garage. "So poison and venoms are a no go."
"Yeah, Hydra thought it would be a wonderful idea to make him impenetrable with those." You sighed, looking over as he clicked away, one finger peck at a time.
"You tried stabbing, and missing." He added.
"More like a miscalculation." You grumbled thinking back to your failed attempt.
"You totaled a car on him."
"Don't remind me, I actually kinda liked that car." You brought your hands to you face and rubbed downward.
"Have you tried to set him on fire?" He asked, you raised your eyebrow at him.
"Set him on fire?" You repeated. "Please Fernando, I'd like to hear how I'm supposed to get close enough without blowing my cover to him on fire."
"Me? I don't know, your the second best assassin in the world, or are you not?" He asked with a trace of humor in his voice. "I mean you could always try to drown him, bombs, screw him, drive by, hatchet throwing, car chase. There are still multiple ways to kill the man."
"I know, I know, I'm just not used to trying this many times in a row." You huffed walking over to the spare stool and flopping down.
"You did not think the Winter Soldier would be an easy task, did you girly?" He asked, looking over at you.
"He may be the worlds best, altered by Hydra, but he still a man and still bleeds." You growled back.
"Then do what they pay you for." Fernando responded turning back to the open files on his computer.
———
"Someone took a shot at you?!" Steve asked, voice raised, running a hand through his hair.
"Yep, with this." Bucky replied calmly, dropping the sniper riffle on the briefing table.
"Jesus, Buck." Steve breathed, looking over the black metal. It wasn't like people didn't hate bucky, sure there were a lot of people out there that didn't care much for the man but to actively go out of their way to shoot at him in public.
"It's an older model, that's for sure, kept in really good shape. Whoever had it made a few modifications to it but they did a damn good job." Bucky smirked as his finger tips traveled up the sleek metal. "It's highly accurate, I was looking through the scopes myself. I just got lucky bending down to pet a cat."
"They missed cause you decided to pet a cat?" Steve asked, eyes nearly bugging out of his head.
"Yeah." Bucky chuckled.
"Buck, this isn't funny, someone is trying to kill you." Steve snapped, Bucky raised his eyebrow at his friend still grinning like an idiot. He knew that this shouldn't excite him like it did.
Sure, saving people and the planet was a daunting task and a rewarding one but this, this was something different. This was all about him, this was a one on one fight. Something he hadn't had since that day he attacked Steve, while under the control of Hydra. He didn't realize how much he had missed it.
"I know that, and trust me I'll be more alert. Anyway, whoever it was, they were pretty efficient. The building was completely vacant, and any cameras that were in the area were taken down, along with the neighboring buildings." Bucky explained, eyes traveling over the mystery assassins weapon of choice. He knew it, and knew it well. He had used one just like during his time under Hydras control, if he didn't know any better. "They were long gone by the time I made it to the vantage point, the area was wiped down. Any serial numbers this bad boy might of had was stripped decades ago."
"So, what you're saying is someone is trying to assassinate you?" Steve asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Sure looks that way." Bucky stated, looking up from the weapon.
———
You were back at your own place going over a few ideas on your next move when your phone went off. It was text from Bucky. You ignored it at first even though your heart fluttered at the sight of his name. Stupid attractive man that refused to die.
If he would just die you wouldn't be hand writing notes and doing equations to try and figure out how you were supposed to get close enough to pour fire accelerant on him and then light a match. In theory you could have a car wreck with him in, faulty seatbelt, car explodes, dead Bucky "immortal" Barnes.
The only downside, if somehow it didn't work he would know and then you would be the one looking over shoulder for the rest of your life. You had pondered just a really bad car accident and rig your car to blow. But, even then, you had already point blank hit the man with a car and he survived, just your luck he would waltz out of the raising flames like the handsome Phoenix he was. Plus, you didn't actually know if he drived anything other then the bike.
Briefly you had scribbled down drowning and then scratched out, there would be no way for that one to work. If hydra had made him so that way poison and venom didn't work, they certainly taught the man how to swim.
Stupid cat.
The phone went off again and you sighed, what was the harm? Maybe talking to him would spark an creative idea. Plus, there wasn't much you had going for the night, might as well have a little down time and relax with the man.
Bucky: Hey.
Bucky: how's your night going?
You: a bit boring, how's yours?
Bucky: about the same, there is a festival downtown, kinda like a renaissance fair. Wanna go?
     You smiled to yourself, renaissance fair. That meant knives, swords, any luck a fire dancer or two. Maybe tonight you would be lucky enough to enact your plan to set that handsome man on Fire.